Heavy sigh.

Coming here to E2 after having been gone 13 years is so hard. I suffer from a major depression problem, and this place is like field covered in landmines for me. Every day I see '"6 years ago" and "9 years ago" So many people I knew to varying degrees are gone. I had several friends here, and only one remains though he doesn't seem to even remember me now :( I don't blame him for not remembering me that was 13 years ago and he's met many many people over the years since.

Everywhere I turn here is sadness for me. Knowing this noder is no longer even alive anymore, and this other one may not be. I try to navigate these waters and not think about that but it's always "9 years ago" at every turn.

Even my home node, which I was so proud of and worked so hard on to make it what I felt was very worth the read - makes me sad. I don't want to change it, it's like an archeological site to me, it's my life and this site frozen in time since my 2nd to last time here before I never made it back for over 13 years. I want to stay here, I totally loved the site and especially my fellow noders back then, and never planned on being gone for 13 years. But I somehow have to find a way to be here without becoming more depressed then I was when I got here each day. I wish there was a way to block the "6 years" ago from every.single.damn.post. I have a couple of friends who know a bit of programming, I wonder if I could get them to change the interface to either not show the time since that noder was last here or even better get it to lie to me and all have a random date of less than "3 months ago"

A few have recommend I leave my home node just as it is - frozen in time. And start a new home node above the original. I may do that, because one of my favorite things to do here on E2 back then was work on my home node, it was so fun!


Sad Whitney

In today's paper I read about a Wisconsin woman who was so excited that Trump won that she screamed and fell over--she believes that Trump is her savior, "sent by God to save America from ruin." I couldn't help thinking to myself: "What a fucking idiot!"

I never really cared for Donald Trump; never watched his reality show, and pretty much thought he was just a conceited boor and a gas bag. I also never thought we could have a President that I disliked more than I disliked George W. Bush. Bush was just a buffoon, but I believe Trump is truly corrupt.

Directly from his own mouth he has disparaged women, Mexicans, and Muslims. He has also, in more or less subtle ways, shown antipathy towards Blacks, Homosexuals, and Jewish people. He has fostered hate and violence at his rallies. He is alleged to have sexually assaulted numerous women, and by his own pussy-grabbing admission, I have no cause to doubt these allegations. There is the distinct possibility that he had sex with an underage girl, which would constitute statutory rape, and pretty much condemn him as a pedophile if this is, indeed, true. He's had numerous business failures, literally thousands of lawsuits against him, including the most recent one for his fraudulent Trump University.

And yet he claims to have great ideas--YUGE IDEAS--to Make America Great Again (the fine print on the bottom of the sign should read: "for morally bankrupt, pussy-grabbing bigots)." Unfortunately he doesn't seem to be able to articulate just what those ideas really are, except for building a wall and making Mexico pay for it. Apparently we won't build a wall on the Canadian border--after all, Canadians are mostly just like white Americans with an accent. Of course Canada might build their own wall ...

Trump's rise to power has--with good reason--been compared to that of Hitler in the 1930s, and I can't help wondering if my present feelings of bewilderment and dismay are exactly the same as some people in Germany felt then: "How can so many believe in this clown?" I am dumbfounded that so many people--especially women--voted for him. Is it only the general miasma of fear about terrorism and the economy? If they're looking for Trump to be their hero they will be sadly mistaken. How can one explain the phenomenal success of this snake oil salesman? For many of Trump's supporters, such as the KKK and neo-Nazis, I think Lyndon B. Johnson said it best:

"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you."

Many of you may think that I (a female, white, Left-Coast Liberal) am just "butt-hurt" because my candidate didn't win. That is true. But be very clear about this: I truly loathe that man, and fear for what he will do to our country.

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