Neptune's Whore was the name collectively given to a previously unnamed alcoholic mix which made it's first appearance at a house party frequented by my circle of friends, the purpose of which was to celebrate "oh... nothing in particular". Initially designed to disguise the extent of our intoxicant consumption from intrusive adults (such as the police) since it looks, to the untrained eye, exactly like cloudy lemonade, this beverage surprisingly turned out to be a rather good idea and has since been replicated for many events when a less covert approach might have otherwise been employed. This then, is how to prepare and enjoy such a substance.
Note that this is how we did it, not how it is done well. Bear in mind that this was a drink to bring to a wild and carefree party, not to sit sipping in the sunset on warm evenings. As such, the process involved here is imprecise and radically utilitarian, as well as potentially unhealthy. Don't let this put you off.
- Empty enough lemonade out of the bottle to make room for your other ingredients. Save this and use it for another mix. Or just drink it.
- Pour as much Cointreau as you deem necessary into the lemonade bottle.
- Add Vodka to taste.
- Seal bottle tightly and refrigerate until party time.
This beautiful blend can now be stored for a short time, or placed innocently in a backpack and rushed across town by bicycle. Best served lightly chilled straight out of the bottle passed from hand to hand, in used pint glasses or empty beer cans, or as an additional liquid with which to top up a lively game of leftovers.
As noted above, the important thing here is taste. There is a very precise flavour which you are looking for to have truly been party to the concoction labelled Neptune's Whore. By the common consensus of all those who have partaken of this particular nectar, the orange-y-lemonade-y impact upon the tongue is the initial response, followed by a tense few seconds anticipating the sharp after-taste one would expect from a light mix containing quite that level of 40%-ethanol spirit. At almost precisely the moment this waiting ceases however (and the drinker begins to believe they have got away scot free) the after-taste strikes.
As always, enjoy safely.