Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "My ma was buying bird seed, meaning both parties with a vested interest in keeping me from bunny petting were conveniently distracted"

• Where I'm From, You'd Think There Was a Tea Party Going On in the Hostess Dumpster
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• Basking in your warmth, I failed to notice that you were keeping me on the back burner
• As if it were the arm of someone who'd pulled me back from speeding traffic.
• Just standing there, wearing my boxers, in my driveway. I was watching the stormfront. You were watching me.
• Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• The most direct path in my soul, is from me to you
• No one was ever fired for buying IBM
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• You kissed me. It was sweet and timid.
• Evolution of American political parties from the Revolution to the Reconstruction
• I was me before being me was cool.
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• be silent my bird, you tear me apart
• the birds seem to know what we're up to out here.
• I've crossed lines of words and wire, and both have cut me deep
• Some guy tried to buy drugs from me last night
• The train that came to me in the dream was already a dead train
• How a suicide made me wish I were Superman
• I was watching through the window, you were going through the dances.
• dip me in the water red, and unclothe me from inside and out
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• There is no one here to stop me from using this silence.
• I had a party, you were not invited, here are the pictures
• She was the seed of a strange tomorrow
• I was less than one hundred footsteps away from you I suppose
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• speak to me, long-dead sage; tell me what your afternoons were like
• Why won't people kick both parties out?
• It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead
• What I would do If I knew what was good for me
• Japanese alphabet
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• Is that me shaking? Is that you shaking? Are we both shaking?
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• I said I was sorry. Then she looked at me.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying
• This node was made for you and me
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• Deliver me from bloodguiltiness
• She's sitting across the table from me, my probable future wife
• the linear and the docile go feral at her command. we're on the run from rogue rivers and predatory trains.
• bringing me back to when less was worth more
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• They Flee From Me
• People just expect things from me
• She always was all tea and oranges that came all the way from China
• Before you, there was me
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
• This was the way bodies were meant to behave
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• i know you're out there; i just wish you were here with me
• It's just the three of us - you, me, and all that stuff we're so scared of
• The trail of its demise was visible from the surf.
• She saved me from Hylas' fate
• all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
• Deliver me from a place where there are no scars.
• And though it was snowing outside, all within were warm.
• Must've Been While You Were Kissing Me
• God save me from the gift of prophecy
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• Take it from me
• The light on the bottom of the pool that you thought was real when you were a child
• From Death, Lead Me To Immortality
• how many bird nests would be made from her lovely hair
• Here were the words I was waiting for, without the part I wanted
• The stars were bright that night she left me forever
• You were always so good to me
• In the end it took me a dictionary, to find out the meaning of unrequited...
• This book was stolen from the Harvard College Library. It was later recovered. The thief was sentenced to two years at hard labor.
• Thursdays were created to torture me
• I think I was a pterodactyl and you were the tiniest rodent
• There was no one waiting for me...
• He Never Told Me My Eyes Were Like Diamonds
• vested interest
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• I was into them after they were hip
• I knew that. My brain just chose to withhold that information from me.
• Keeping your data from the FBI
• Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties
• She is lobbing rainbows at me from across the room and I am swallowing them like fear.
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• She was an intellectual prostitute, seducing me with profound truisms
• i Kill Strangers, Stay Away From Me
• I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
• can you show me where this came from?
• After all, the Bible says Jesus' first miraculous sign was to make 180 gallons of wine for a party!
• If we're both dead, it's not necrophilia anymore.
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• Death was a part of me then, too.
• Thinking distracts me
• Why the Liberal Party of Australia both is and isn't a liberal party
• Take me from home
• I was raised on red pepper and blood. I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
• She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
• Bast watched me from the litter box
• I tried to laugh but my photocells were cold from the night
• From Darkness, Lead Me To Light
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• The Buddhist is drained from me
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• Tell me a story about bunnies
• Would you tell me if it was true?
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• I was put on hold for time to gnaw me raw.
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
• God keep me from ever completing anything
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• We're both tops
• I was a homeless bum
• Four types of male reactions when buying pornography from a female cashier
• Why do all the pretty things always run away from me?
• Now your songs mean what they were supposed to from the beginning
• So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
• If there were no birds
• I Hear it was Charged Against Me
• Was Jesus resurrected as the Easter Bunny?
• News from the Libertarian Party
• Don't blame me, I'm from Massachusetts
• There once was a man from St. Paul
• We're acting happy to stop ourselves from going insane.
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• far be it from me
• Okay, okay, I confess! It was me! I broke the internet!
• The Three Quests that were obtained from Powys
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• Put That Thing Back Where it Came From or So Help Me
• We're Humans from Earth
• From Ignorance, Lead Me To Truth
• The first living beings to see an Earthrise from the Moon were communist turtles.
• How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
• His eyes look out at me from people that I meet
• I was shot through the heart, and you were to blame.
• Far From Me
• Why I politely asked the contemporary lit major I was dating to stop writing me love letters
• Please leave me far away from your nonsense, woman.
• She is stupidly keeping herself a secret, when I know she has sparkly things to show me
• The Three Kings who were from Villeins
• For from dust we were created and to dust we shall return
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• The Jester sang with a voice that came from you and me
• When he removed his stilton sword from my fart valve, he was pleasantly surprised to see a toilet twinkie staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to lap the colon cobra off his ample cock.
• pull the dna from my bones and add me to the database of ancestors
• Death arrived shortly thereafter, but we were both far too busy to bother with one another just yet
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• away from me
• Take a day, plant some trees, may they shade you from me
• Your smile was embarrassed. Your fingers were dew-covered. I am still smiling.
• Fruit cut from the vine, forgot and left to rot, long before it was time
• We were both scared of the dark
• The sex scene from IT and Hugh Hefner, and why I'm glad both are gone
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• I Was Lost and You Found Me
• The universe was cold and dead and all the best aspects of humanity and its appreciation of the world were stored in electronic boxes
• I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
• man when you are telling me how it was
• What was left after the party
• Buying crack from your mom's pimp
• You were never going to become more than this to me
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• give the devil a kiss from me
• November 4, 1995
• Which God was cooler, the one from the Old Testament or the one from the New Testament?

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