She's constantly on my mind. She's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. On most nights she's the last person I talk to and on my good days she's the first person I talk to. She doesn't know how important she is to me and I feel like that if she knew she might not be able to be that person anymore.
I can't say it's love, but I won't say it's not. I can talk to her for hours on end about anything. She knows things about me that I've never told anyone. I've been her rock to lean on for 10 months and I don't mind her leaning on me for another 10 months. Just listening and talking to her makes me happy and if that's all I get I'm glad. Some days I wish she was born 10 years later and 200 miles south. My life would be complete.
I know it's a pipe dream. She has kids, an ex, and even after all the cougar jokes, no desire for the younger man but I'm not ready to wake up yet. I'll live in this dream a little bit longer because just talking with her for a few hours a night just makes me all warm and fuzzy.