Findings:

• The girls had gone wild and now my dad's cock was missing
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• I was my mom for a while
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• Jerry Was a Race Car Driver
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• I wish I was carrying cigarettes
• I woke up and thought it was Saturday
• If the King's English was good enough for Jesus
• Passive Aggressive
• if music were a woman
• Butterflies are passive aggressive and put their problems on the shelf, but they're beautiful
• That Was Then, This is Now
• An Inflamed Passive Aggressive Ode To Your Banality
• And the sky was made of amethysts
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• I was aghast, yet intrigued
• If I were watched alone, I'd be considered insane
• Leather-bound organizer
• What was the question?
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• She moved so easily all I could think of was sunlight
• There was an old lady
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• being a kid was great
• The Walrus was Paul
• A Letter from Mom and Dad
• This was unexpected, my soul's connection to you
• When you're little, mom and dad are superheroes
• hodgepodge was just a one-night stand, apparently
• God was created in man's image
• Dawn was a lucky time to give birth
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• Theories as to what was inside the briefcase in Pulp Fiction
• Kilroy was here
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• My Mom, My Dad, and the Red Polka-Dot Bikini
• I was promised flying cars
• Jesus was Mexican
• Conrad's dirigible was tipping
• i wonder if that was meant to console
• Last time I was in Chicago I broke my ass
• I was never any good at maths at school
• It was more than perfect understanding
• People wouldn't fall in love so often if it were more clearly marked
• What was left after the party
• Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
• sifting sand to find fading past in smooth stones, sorrow was here
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• Here lies one whose name was writ in water
• Tux ate my dad, my mom, and my sister too
• my only pin-up was Pelé
• I was expecting it to hurt like a fuck
• It was not a weather balloon at Roswell
• My mom has the Pope, my dad has my mom, and I have the sky
• Music was better in the old days
• Man was created in God's image
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• There was once a Man
• That was a joke, son.
• My mom is my dad is my daughter is dead
• wa
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• Was Jesus resurrected as the Easter Bunny?
• Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
• Cybersex before it was cool
• It wasn't like I was sleeping anyway
• If Dr. Seuss Were a Tech Writer
• As I Was Going to St Ives
• The Story of the Vizier Who Was Punished
• I Hear it was Charged Against Me
• Concrete, Washington
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table
• I was into them after they were hip
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• The day I realized what being alive was
• Why was Cthulhu blue?
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• When I Was One-and-Twenty
• Why Socrates was really executed
• I once was a clueless young noder
• Lando was supposed to die
• Born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad
• There was this one great night at Alice's house,
• The highlight of my night was two girls kissing
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• I woke up and was an instant scribbling fiend. crazy, my poor feverish brain
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• Imagine if your microwave was intelligent
• The first iron-on transfer I made myself was controversial
• Before I was consciously thinking of him, my body was
• I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
• That Was The Week That Was
• Her name was Natalie
• Jesus was a black man
• The real reason pi was never calculated to a high precision in ancient times
• In the Beginning was the Command Line
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• The highlight of my night was two guys kissing
• Now it was personal
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• In any world in which i was your friend for even a day, i am grateful.
• What did people use as incidental music before Moby was invented?
• Death was a part of me then, too.
• Was I born to play?
• Is And Is Not As It Was
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• Vancouver, Washington
• the seven hills of Rome
• Was (Not Was)
• Able was I, ere I saw Elba
• Descartes was wrong
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• Why I was convinced I would die young
• Climbing cherry trees when I was younger
• No shit, there I was
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• 'T was
• Trompe
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• I was once a victim of Catholic schooling
• When I was your age
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
• It was a dark and stormy night
• "Oskee wee wee! Oskee wa wa!"
• This wasn't how it was supposed to be
• I was once stranded on a dessert island
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• Was not cleanly unmounted, check forced
• Just how perfect was Jesus?
• The world was designed for giant squid
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up
• It was not a dream
• Marilyn Monroe was a size 16
• Back when grunge was still cool
• I was going to marry Marty
• Nobody cares if it was originally a nodeshell
• It was all God's fault
• It was you, Atthis
• I was once stranded on a desert island
• I was searching glass
• Upon my indulgence, I was dissatisfied
• Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• There was a young lady of Riga
• I was looking for you
• The Princess who was Hidden Underground
• WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
• How was your trip to London, Dan?
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• There was a rose that faded young
• Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• This product was tested on cute, furry animals with big, sad eyes
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• when you asked what I was writing, this is what it was
• I was a homeless bum
• There was a time when I was a better person
• Once, everyone was a computer novice
• Oxygen was the world's first pollutant
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• The train station was fucking freezing and
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• I'll tell you what kind of guy I was
• So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day

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