Ever since I was an infant
really... My mother
thought I was deaf
for a while. I didn't laugh
, or react to baby talk
, or make eye contact
. I seamed to always be in a daze
, which I can't remember... a little too convenient
; don't you think so brain
Years later I had to repeat the first grade because I wouldn't pay attention. "They" did some tests and claimed I had attention deficit; however I am quite certain the problem was the teachers couldn't break my solid concentration from whatever, more important thing, I was thinking about; again, none of which I can remember. How many good, interesting, or insightful times did I miss in "la-la land" when my brain didn't invite me?
Anymore I figure my brain just has a pretty strong sense of humor, and this is a joke for him. I only remember the names or faces of people who would not get offended if I had forgotten anyway. Anyone who is irritated when forgotten might as well not tell me their name to begin with... That's a good one brain.
Another thing I realized was when I recently was transferred at work, from sheet metal to weld shop and the first thing I learned was I can no longer distinguish between the feelings of hot and sharp. The materials I deal with are usually either, and sometimes both. My first day in weld shop I violently pulled my arm away three times from what I was working on to examine my flesh and see what the hell happened. Two burns and a cut, but if I hadn't looked, I would still have no idea. My brain just tells me "something's wrong........ better move I guess."
I wonder about the plethora of knowledge my brain has that I do not. Nearly 23 years of my brain telling me only what it god damned feels like. I feel so used. One of these days I'll likely have to stab it with a Q-tip.