On November 1, 2019, my college was celebrating a weekend of raucous partying known as Halloweekend. Students were supposed to wear revealing costumes and get drunk and high until they were delirious, then go to frat parties and dance the night away. As a college student who only lives once, naturally, I had to partake in such a thing.

At 9 P.M., an old friend from high school who went to my college told me to go to her dorm room so that we could hang out and pregame. I had already smoked and drank a few shots before heading out. I went outside in a short black tutu and cat ears, along with a green jacket. The walk was chilly, but it didn't bother me that much.

I got to her dorm and sat around while she did another friend's homework. Half an hour later, our other friend, Jack, showed up with an entire backpack of Jack Daniel's, THC lemonade, and soju. He poured me several shots of Jack Daniel's into a medium-sized cup, and I took several swigs of soju.

I was starting to feel much more than buzzed, and I vaguely remember Jack pulling out a pink bottle next. I asked him "What percent is that?" He looked at me confusedly and said "You mean how many milligrams?" I had mistaken the THC lemonade for alcohol, and he let me have about half of the lemonade bottle. He said, "This stuff is really strong. You're going to be on your ass for the rest of the night." I only laughed.

The rest of the night was a blur. I Facetimed my other friend, who asked me to get him a cup of Jack Daniel's as he waited outside, and I only recall Jack pouring me a cup to take outside, with myself spilling most of the drink as I stumbled down the stairs on my way out with the group.

My next memory was standing around in a circle with the group as Jack said "She is so zooted," referring to me. I said "I'm sorry!" and a girl in the group said "You've got to stop saying sorry, it's fine."

The entire world started becoming fuzzy and slow, and I was having what I think now is an LSD flashback. As the group started walking, I felt disconnected from my field of vision, like watching the world through a TV. Every step seemed to be slow and yet fast at the same time, the world alternating between speeding up and slowing down. As someone who has done acid before and knows what the experience is like, I wasn't panicking, but instead just taking it all in and accepting that this is what the world would be like for the next few hours.

Next, our group ended up on frat row, and a girl in the group, Phoebe, told me to hold onto her as I walked, since I was stumbling. I apologized and held onto her, with several people in the group ridiculing me and saying "Blackout Halloweekend, right?" I vaguely remember walking right into a frat boy at one point and saying that I was sorry. For some strange reason, I kept mentally tracing various Chinese characters over and over uncontrollably. I was out of my mind crossfaded at this point. Our group continuously got denied from various frats and house parties due to having too high a ratio of guys to girls in our group. I kept blacking out and asking people how many parties we got denied from. A girl told me, "Five."

At this point, I was very cold, and I said that I really had to go pee. Some other girls in the group said "But we came out here to party, not go back in." Phoebe took me back to her dorm so that I could warm up and go to the bathroom.

The walk back to her dorm was grueling. I was shivering, and continually asked "How far is the dorm?" while she answered "It's that blue light over there" several times. At one point, I recall her saying "You just asked that."

The next memory I had was of sitting on her dorm floor and asking who she was, despite my sober self knowing full well that she was my high school friend's roommate. She offered for me to crash on her dorm floor, but I deliriously said something to the effect of, "I should go home, I have to take out my contacts and take off my makeup."

She said "OK, I'll walk you back, but can I drop you off at the field?" and I said sure.

I blacked out again, remembering nothing of that walk, and once we were at the field, I asked if she could actually walk me back to my tower, and she obliged, seeing how intoxicated I was.

Once at my tower, she sat me down in the lobby and explained that she wanted to go to a party soon, but she wanted to make sure that I was sober enough to check into the tower without being deemed suspicious by the security desk. She asked if I needed to vomit, and, strangely enough, after she said that, I felt the need to vomit, so I stumbled over to the recycling bin and vomited into it. A couple of college kids must've heard me and stepped over to look at me briefly, but quickly went back to where they were afterward. Phoebe sat with me for half an hour.

"You look better now and you're not slurring your words as much. I think you can go up now," she said.

I blacked out again, but she had apparently walked me up to my dorm room, and my next memory was opening my dorm door, only to see my entire closet trashed by my horrendous roommates who always bring their rowdy guests over. I drunkenly asked the girls in the room next to me if they could help me hang my clothes back on my closet, and they assisted me, saying things like "Oh my god! Your roommates are horrible! Do they hate you? Who would do this?" I thanked them and apologized if I smelled like vomit, saying that I planned to shower soon.

I somehow took out my contacts and removed my makeup while in this extremely drunken state, then blacked out again. My next memory was confronting one of my roommates about the mess in my closet, and I said "If you have beef with me, I want to be the first one to know about it." Then, I took my blanket and pillow and slept in the lounge of my dorm, tired of my roommates' bullshit.

I woke up at 2 A.M. to three male RAs around me in the lounge. As I sat up, intoxicated, they laughed to each other, then told me that I wasn't allowed to sleep in the lounge. I begged them to let me stay and asked "Why do I have to leave?" They only said, "We don't make the rules." Upon seeing how badly I was walking, one of them offered to hold my pillow while I held my blanket. While waiting for the elevator, I said something, and one of the RAs asked the others "Do you know what she's saying?" None of them apparently knew.

Once we were in the elevator, other people in the elevator gave uncomfortable looks at us, probably questioning why a male was holding a girl's pillow while following a very drunk female student. Before we got out of the elevator, the RA had sensed the tension and said, "I'm the RA, and I'm just escorting her up to her room."

The RA let me back into my dorm room and explained that he found me sleeping in the lounge. My other roommate and her love interest looked at me, and my roommate said "Oh my god, she's gone." The next day, she told me that my face was deathly pale, and that she gave me water to drink, although I don't remember that detail at all.

I blacked out again and was sleeping in that same lounge again as my roommate stood by my side and explained that she had had no idea where I was and was worried for me. She said "I was only able to find you here because the RA told us that you were found sleeping in this lounge earlier tonight." She asked me to text her where I was next time so that she could have peace of mind, and I said OK and thanked her for keeping an eye on me.

I fell asleep, awoke briefly at 4 A.M., and was sober enough to text Phoebe thanking her for helping me and saying that I was much better now. I took my blanket and pillow back up to my dorm, brushed and flossed my teeth, and went to sleep in my dorm.

In the following days, Jack told me that he hadn't seen me even drink that much, and that he suspected that it was mostly the THC lemonade that had led to me having such a crazy experience. I said "That felt crazy." He said "I knew how you would feel, I've been there before."

All in all, I won't be trusting a mixture of Jack Daniel's and THC lemonade ever again, and will do the two in moderation.

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