Mr. Cranky's reviews are invariably negative. His rating system is as follows:
It sometimes shows that he struggles to find negative things to say about movies he probably actually likes (the "one bomb" movies), but when he truly hates a movie, he does not hold back. For example, here's a part of his review to A Very Brady Sequel, which he gave four bombs:
The first five minutes of "A Very Brady Sequel" will make you wish a whole fleet of screaming Ebola-infected infants had tumbled into the theater at the last minute and ended up in the row behind yours. The next five will make you long for the welcome distraction of total global apocalypse.