Mofo Jambalaya
Fuck You Curry has been responsible for more pleased messages than I think any of my other writeups, of any type. So, here's Mofo Jambalaya, which should tickle some of the same tastebuds and is even cheaper, easier, and faster.

Mofo Jambalaya was named for the famous Red Hot Chili Peppers album, which was playing for its initial reverse-engineering, concoction, and birth.

Takes about 5 minutes of prep, and 20 minutes cooktime. To save time and hassle, use kitchen shears to cut up the celery and sausage right from the package directly into the pot.

I am very lazy, and use a large nonstick wok for almost everything. If you are like me, and do not wish to, or do not have, or do not wish to improvise, a cover to simmer your Mofo Jambalaya, double the water to account for evaporation, and be prepared to add more if it starts to run dry.

As with the curry, it can be easily altered to your tastes - don't feel constrained by the recipe.


  • 1 lb. any of, or combination of, Polish sausage, ham, shrimp, crayfish meat, Spam (it is Mofo Spambalaya in this case), or just about any other meat or meat-alike in bite-sized pieces
  • 1 cup uncooked rice
  • 1/2 cup kidney beans, pre-soaked
  • 2.5 cups water (or as applicable for variety of rice and beans)
  • 1 stalk celery, chopped
  • optional 1 medium fresh tomato, diced.
  • 3 tsp. Old Bay (Old Bay is a home kitchen "cheat code" of sorts - it saves the hassle of doling out a small amount of several other spices)
  • 2 tsp. each: garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, hot paprika
  • 1 tsp. each: cilantro, black pepper
  • optional 1 tsp. red pepper flakes

Combine all spices in separate container and mix well. I use an old nopales jar to make large batches at a time, and spoon out about 6-7 tsp. per batch of Mofo Jambalaya.

Add all ingredients to large pot, dry ingredients first and water last; bring to boil, then cover and reduce heat to simmer for approx. 20 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Test for doneness.

Salt and pepper to taste.


NanceMuse says re Mofo Jambalaya: Sounds delicious! You might want to warn less experienced cooks that raw shrimp cook really fast, get rubbery if overcooked, and will only need about five minutes at the end.

Thanks NM! It hadn't occurred to me (obviously) to do so!

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