Note, all these years later: The below lists used to be in a writeup above mine as how to impress a female and male, respectively. I don't know why someone deleted the first writeup while leaving mine behind, but TBTB are strange, strange creatures.

It seems I'm more female than male. So are most of my supposedly "male" friends. Maybe I should start claiming to be a lesbian.

Compliment anybody whom deserves it;
Tease me, but only in a friendly way;
Comfort me;
Listen to me;
Care for me, and for people in general;
Support me and anyone else whom deserves you support;
Act responsibly;
Be nice;
Have fun!

Show up naked.
Bring beer.

Men Vs Women

Which are better Men or Women?

To answer this question we must examine a large number of facts including the following.

Contrary to stereotypes Women can swear, kill, fart, fix engines, belch, drink beer and with suitable training piss standing up. Except those that can't

Men can knit, gossip, change the baby, sew, achieve multiple orgasms, cry but never ever give birth. Except Arnold Schwartzenegger

Women are free to choose between skirts or trousers. Except those that can't.

A kilt is still a skirt and simply proves that women's legs are often far more aesthetically pleasing. Except those that aren't (see above, please)

Men have larger bodies and larger brains enabling them to reach objects on high shelves. Except when they're short

Women have smaller bodies and larger breasts enabling them to placate and suckle crying babies of all ages. Except when they don't

The majority of geniuses are men. Except that the majority of idiots are also men.

They majority of serial killers are men. Except the majority of paid, government sanctioned, professional killers are also men.

Women cause and are involved in less car accidents than men thus allowing for lower insurance premiums. Close examination of the facts show that this is becasuse they drive less and not because they are better drivers. In fact the statistics show that women have more accidents per mile than men. Except when they don't.

All men are potential rapists. Except those that aren't

No women are potential rapists. Except those that are.

Women are more likely to be offended by the above two comments. Except those that aren't

As a score in scrabble "Women" is better than "Men" by 5 points. Except when tactical issues dominate rather than intrinsic points value.

Men give better fellatio but Women give better cunnilingus. Except those that don't.

Men go bald. Except those that don't

Women can't grow beards. Except those that do

Having examined all these facts and many many more we can assign our own preconcieved subjective weightings to the fundamental differences between the the two genders thereby reducing both men and women to scientifically quantifiable values. We then simply ask ourselves the question. "Which would be better a world without Men or a world without Women?"

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