Ok, here's another ever-popular movie review by my son Ian (5 1/2). I'm not sure if this needs a spoiler warning, since I'm not sure anyone who hasn't seen the movie would have the slightest clue what he's talking about...
(the words with (* *) around them are actions/sound effects my son inserts into his story...)
When Jeff broke into a different worm, then he caught J, the brown guy, and he was talking to the little things in the big worm’s mouth. The first one is called this one “don’t bite” and he did this (*bites*), then he bumps two more heads together and then he says “hey no more biting”. That’s part of the ending.
The bad person was Serlina, she was kind of like a worm, and she can turn into anything, except if she turns into something big like a worm that’s named her name then she looks different, like a big worm in outer space. She lives in outer space.
And Jeff is an alien caterpillar, and he has a flower out of his head. When J said “don’t let me do this Jeff” then he was sad and his flower was wilting. Then his face still looked like he was mad. He has an x like a mouth and watch how it opens up (*demonstrates*). When T was kicking his flower he was holding on to the flower then Jeff came up and he was still holding on to the flower, and J said “he’s new and he’s kinda stupid”. That’s what J said.
J went and got K at the place with post office where aliens and people were. Then he went to this new place with a bunch of aliens and a bunch of new people. Then K went to the Men in Black center with aliens and men in black. They went in this other place and K poked his finger in the ball and little aliens were running around and J went “don’t touch that” and “hands in the pockets”. J said “your favorite weapon” and showed him the midget cricket. Then J said “the only suit you’ll ever wear again” and it’s a black suit and a white shirt and a black shirt.
Then they went to the room with the deneuralizer and he closes his eyes and they get flushed with water like a toilet with blue water, it looks like blue blood from an alien. When they get flushed they go in this thing right in the middle of the city in the middle of the road and they went in different directions.
They went to get the car to them and J went (*tweet*) and the car came to them with the guy in it and the thing sucks the guy in and it’s the autopilot and they get in the car and J gives K the thing that gives the car to them.
They went to some guy who has a deneuralyzer just like the one when K gets flushed and it goes like this (*vroom*) and K shot the guy with the deneuralyzer and green stuff went (*goosh*) and then his head grew back. Then when he shot him the other time and then his head grew back again. Then the guy with the cornface bended J trying to break his backbone. Then J shot the guy with the cornface and there was a guy with a dogpoopface.
Serlina did this (*whipcrack*) and the guy broke into half and fell on the floor, it was a body that moves. And there was a two-headed guy with a little head and another head with a sleeve on his neck, actually the other guy was just a little head. He came out of his backpack.
When Serlina came she broke the wormguys then they went with J and K and they were getting different weapons. There were little guys at 60, and then he bumped his head and he had to put his head on the side so he didn’t bump his head. They were playing twister, the brown girl and the little worm guys were playing twister.
J was pointing to different things in the pizza place, the astronaut was pointing to the pizza boxes that were stacked up differently like an arrow, then K got the key from next to the picture and shaked his hand.
At the end Jeff was breaking in a hundred of pieces and they saw a different thing that was green, just like at the part when she was a little worm. Then the dog barked at it and Serlina growled and the dog ran away, then Serlina crawled out from under her spaceship. Then she saw a magazine and flipped the pages. Then she opened her mouth and little things came out that cover Serlina and turn her into the pretty lady. Then we saw her feet, her legs, her body, then we did not see her face, her head cause they were still making her head.
Then Serlina grabbed J, then one got shot and J was saying “no biting” and it tried to bite him and he bit it. Then K was shooting it to get it down, then the little things were going with it down in the glass.
Then the different worm came up and they were shooting the little thingies and the light was taking Lara high up into outer space and they shot the worm with the big guns then the worm was dead and it made fireworks and K pushed his watch and the thing on the statue of liverty it flashed a blue light and the lights on the trees came on and they opened a door and it was a locker to a part of the world with big giant aliens.
And Frank who was the talking dog said “oh” and J said “oh my”.