The car

Today is a great day for multiple reasons. I am finally going to get those damn break pads on my car. It really needed them. The previous pads were quite wore out. The mechanic at the shop I went to told me that he had never seen a set of pads as bad as mine were. He said that I was probably lucky the calipers weren't damaged. The pads themselves were almost to the point of no return. That being said, I would have got them on yesterday, but not a single one on the hex wrenchs I was going to use was the correct size. So I had to wait 'till this morning to find a hardware store that was not busy. I also need to shop around for a good set of used tires. After all of that is said and done, my next task will be to find a muffler and rig up some sorta exhaust system. I really should just take this hunk of metal in and get a full safety inspection done on it. It would be worth it. It needs a full wheel alignment, a radiator and transmission flush, and I do not have a radio in it. And I need my tunes while I am on the road.

Inspecting the garden and walking the dog

I also went outside this morning to check on my wee little garden. They only thing that has sprouted so far is the sweet corn. It seems to come up first every year. Some of my flowers have just barely poked their heads up, but not really enough to notice. It will be a few more days before any real business happens in the soil. But soon enough I should have a nice little veggie-garden. My girlfriend left her dog here to stay with me over the weekend, so I also have to take care of it. The dog is a full-blooded, female Dachshund. Her name is Tippy and she is one of the coolest dogs I know. I tried to get my girlfriend Chris let me shave 'E2' into the animal's fur, but that didn't go over very well. I took her on a walk around the garden and let her hunt for mice. She is a very pretty dog. If anyone has a full-blooded male Dachshund, let me know.

Fuckin' A!

Fuckin' A is a slang phrase. It can be used to describe something good or bad. For example, "Fuckin' A that guy just stole my damn wallet," or "Fuckin' A that dude just gave me fifty bucks." It can mean any of the following:

Remember these are not all of the things 'Fuckin A' could mean. I am sure there are many more.

I can't even keep my shit together -
I mean I come home and there's paper scraps and scissors and broken glass and dirty dishes and ignored forms and shoes -
God, I've got a lot of shoes, and they sit around like they own the place wherever I happened to roll out of them,
and chances are I was drunk when I made it home last night, had to wake up in that room where the bed's just barely off the ground, and all the clothes I'm not comfortable in strewn around -
Where there's six or more half-empty containers of water, because if I drink too much coffee and smoke too many cigarettes and down too many cans of Pabst or Ranier or Lucky in a night at least I'm going to drink enough water.
Water will keep you alive.
And God, I come home and it's like this, and it's like this every day, except when I sleep on the couch like it's my new home, like this kid game of desert island where you have everyting you need:
two bottles of water, six beers, thirty pound dictionary, poloroid, sleeping bag -
and I'll take photos of myself like it's the most ingenious thing in the world, like no one has ever seen their own reflection before, like Narcissus didn't exist -
and I'll save all this crap: scraps of fabric and vinyl, hideous fake flowers, dead flowers, waxed paper, doll parts, matchbooks, bottlecaps, notes from unknown people to other unknown people,
and the point is to take them with spray paint and safety pins, with plastic bags, thick paint and hot glue, and make them into something other than trash, something closer to art, or at least costume, so the poloroid will have an excuse again.
But in the meantime I'm just drunk,
And between times I'm just drunk
and trying to drown what's let of a year old wound -
But if you soak a cut too long it's not going to heal
If you pry into a cut too long it's not going to heal
and you'll walk around like a shadow of a person,
picking up things to prove you can,
that the shade under you has substance,
and the things you make out of trash do verify existance
and your own reflection is still there on the lip of the camera
you have a goldfish memory
I am still here I am still here
I am still here
this is
what I look like
What I found
What I did

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