Okay. Time for some truth.
I'd be the last person to say I'm unhappy with the direction the site has taken. This is a better place than it was two years ago. Sorry. It is. There's less crap and more excellence
. Now that we're back open to Google, we're more of a resource and less of a vacuum. The admins can expect increased quality, they can even demand it, but they can't obtain it without the vast majority of users rising to the challenge. That's a form of direct democracy
If what you want is to be silly, or snarky, you can still do that here. I swear.
You just have to commit - show that you're serious about fucking around. Yeah, usually, that means a certain length. Generally, though, it just means offering something
that every other message forum out there doesn't. Try harder. Care more.
I came here to create things I could be proud of. All of my experiments have met with overwhelming success; my efforts acknowledged by like-minded individuals. If you came here for some other reason, there's lj
and soon there'll be c2
. You can likely fit in there. I'm not knocking those places. They help people.
I simply don't node very often. There's a variety of reasons:
- I won't do it unless I really care about the subject.
- I spend all my spare time talking to the fascinating people I meet here.
- I'm lazy.
None of this means that I don't love noding
, or that I don't have the highest respect for those who have hundreds of (decent) nodes, or that I don't think that the fact that I have far fewer writeups than anyone at my height on the Other Users list is pretty shameful. I'm not one of those folks who had a bunch of junk from the old days and righteously removed it all
. I just never got around to (what I see as) doing my part.
Though I used to, at the beginning, these days I genuinely do not want to be an editor
. Again, not because I don't appreciate the work done. It is a huge responsiblity, and it deserves those who are deeply invested. This is not some Wisdom-of-Solomon
reverse psychology deal where I'm secretly trying to nominate myself. It's just not for me.
Outside of all this: What I never could have imagined is how amazingly giving you people are in reality
, and how much you would change me for the better. I now know how to forge a lifelong bond in half an hour. I have a place to crash in every major city in the US. And I even fell in love once or twice, and I don't make as many stupid decisions anymore. This site changed my life. I couldn't ever forget that.
This isn't about that.
I cannot shake the urge that it is time for me to take the lessons I've learned here and apply them to something much greater, something I've always known I was capable of. I've still never finished a feature-length screenplay, which is what I went to college for. I owe my friends songs
, and I owe my hands piano lessons. This place, to me, feels shaped like a nest. The best nest I could have hoped for, but nonetheless, a launchpad
. What's up there? Money or fame? No. Self-satisfaction. The same reason I stick around here.
There just isn't time to waste, anywhere.
I am not leaving. I am still here everyday, unless I'm spending the weekend in the woods
somewhere. I still answer all my messages, I still use all my votes and my C!. I still look stuff up here before Google. I really doubt I could stop checking in if I tried.
I don't expect anyone to be broken up about me spending less time around here. I'm just putting it down for myself, to make it real
. Lots of other people here disengage without the need to rationalize it verbally.
But if you do feel you miss me, you are probably someone I love, and that means I will be wherever you need me.