Another day, another dollar.

There are a few things and ideas I've had in my brain today, so this, probably not unlike most my logs will be very diverse, aka. all over the place.
I'm not even half way through typing this log, I just re-read it, and it's already a stream of consciousness nonsense and will only get worse, so reader beware.

I may have mentioned this before, but I refer to my brain as a separate thing, I think I've always done this and I'm not sure why, I think it's because it does so much more than I'm aware of (controlling my meaty self, and often doing things without my consent).

I've almost given up on writing on here except for logs, I haven't read a book in a couple of years (though I've been slowly getting through the "A brief history of time"), I feel that it was written for the layman with a lesser understanding of physics than I, so I don't find it very engaging, which means that the 2 months that I've been reading it will probably extend indefinitely.
That's not to say I'm good at physics, I've long forgotten calculus, 3D vectors and all that jazz, but I feel that I have a pretty good general grasp of it.
eg. I somewhat recently (3 or so years ago?) saw the time dilation equation for the first time and it made perfect sense, I miss those moments when you finally understand an equation, the small Eureka moments. The only other one I can remember was finally understanding anti/differentiation - I've been doing it for a while, but without the full understanding of what it was I was doing.
I'm not reading books at the moment, I go through stages, sometimes years, where I won't read. Then I start reading and I can't stop, I read at lunch, I read on the toilet, I read on the train. I have a bit of an addictive personality, so I then quit cold turkey and not pick up a book for a long while.
My active vocabulary is very minimal (is "active vocabulary" even a thing?), I don't talk much in RL, and people at work aren't exactly the intellectual types, so if I'm not reading books, I don't get to utilise my vocabulary and just break whatever I'm thinking down to the easiest to convey words/phrases - though I do get some "what's with the fancy words?" looks and comments.
I don't consider myself a wordy person, unlike most of you E2 dwellers, I rarely come out with anything over 3 syllables and my adjectives are intentionally the most basic ones, no need for "salmon" or "watermelon" when I have "pink" in my repertoire (<-fancy word just for ya'll).
Anyway, I feel that at the moment, the best way I can contribute is by doing these logs and hopefully entertaining someone in the process. If I come up with something that I like, I'll add to the non-useless side of E2.

The previous paragraph made me realise just how my brain jumps around and I have to keep track of ideas that I start and then like a Perl or a C programmer, make sure I close all the nested ifs )}, sometimes needing to remove one and move it out of the paragraph, to start a yet another rant, lest my ramblings become convoluted and unintelligible.

I have my final interview for the job tomorrow, at their request I dug up some of my old projects, the same projects I used to get my current job. I realised that I didn't pick the biggest/most complicated ones, but the ones I enjoyed working on the most. So that's that, I have questions I'm going to ask and if I'm happy with the answers and the final offer (if I get one that is) I'm pretty sure I'll take the job, it seems like a much better place than my previous job, but won't be as laid back as my current one and I'm not in a position not to take the money (double negatives, I know, I know).

I had a dream last night, it was long, and other people's dreams are boring, so I won't go too much into it, except that it started with me at work or a large campus with a lot of people outside some work/uni buildings. Then I spotted a man with no face, like from an episode of Dr Who... which I just realised is probably where this dream partially came from (as well as The Walking Dead). This man touched someone else, and the other person also turned into a man with no face. All I could think of was.. exponential growth in a closed system, I know what to do, and legged it back to my office, told everyone to get out, jumped on my motorbike and took off.

On the topic of motorbikes: I have one and I ride it to work every day.
I've been a bit lazy with the upkeep and yesterday I realised that my chain is way too loose, I looked through the manual and it said to tighten the rear wheel bolts to 88Nm. Usually, I'd fudge it and put most of my weight (with a few jerks) onto a ~30cm wrench, like tightening a wheel nut, however, this being a rear wheel of my motorbike, I felt the need to do it properly.
So I drove my car to work today for the first time in months and asked one of the guys at work for a torque wrench, hopefully he'll bring it in tomorrow.
Driving wasn't fun.
I realised just how much I enjoy riding my bike.
I also just realised just how much I use the word "realise", it almost sounds like I'm learning things as I go.
I like the speed, I like the acceleration, though I don't speed and my little 500cc bike isn't THAT fast.
I feel cool on a bike, I think people on a 125cc scooter feel like they're cooler than Batman in his Batmobile.
I'm not cool.
I probably don't look cool (even though I'm in all black, with a tinted visor and a black bike), I'm 6'4" or 196cm, and on my little bike, I probably look like a normal person on a Grom (A Grom is a very small Honda motorcycle, probably just their version of a street legal monkey bike).
Traffic makes me happy on a bike, I can usually just get past the cars to the lights and take off into the non traffic.
Lane splitting is legal here, if you're going under 30km/h, but every I go past a Ferrari at 30km an hour, I always giggle to myself and think "I'm faster than a Ferarri" (which my bike is definitely NOT)
I must be getting old, I've also been thinking that I wouldn't want a Lamborghini, they seem to be too low to be useful around here, not to mention the price.

I feel like the next topic requires a separate entry, but by this stage, most people would have given up on my ranty log, so there'll be about five people reading this, which suits me fine.
I was reading a write-up here about something-or-rather and it reminded me of the following:
When my little brother died a few years back, we had to go to the coroner's office (I think that's what it's called) to see the body. I'm not sure why we were there, maybe to identify the body, maybe to say goodbye, those few weeks are very blurry in my mind. I might go into this further, but what I remembered today was the gentleman who opened the door, walked us in and explained what was what. It could've been the situation, but I don't think so, this man was one of the weirdest acting human I've ever seen. His job is one of the hardest jobs I can think of and he did his job immaculately. I thought he was a robot. Less than average height, average face, average colour, he would be the perfect grey man. He expressed no feelings, no sympathy (I'm assuming that would make people cry), but not cold (people would think he was rude or uncaring).
All his actions, movements, body language and speech were refined to avoid affecting other (very sensitive) people's emotions, BUT, completely different to a friendly person, a zen master, or a chilled non caring hippy.
I could envision him being picked up by a heavily tattooed angry father of a murdered rape victim, him, flopping around like a white flag in the wind, with the same, but ever changing, expression on his face, calmly (but not overly so) explaining why he should be put down, so he can proceed with his job.

I will never forget, and never remember this little non emotional being.

But I will always remember and never forget my little, and mostly emotional brother.

V
R.I.P munchkin

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