I tried to love you my way
But I couldn't make it hold
So I closed the book of longing
And I do as I am told
-Leonard Cohen, That Don't Make It Junk
Having passed the far point of my highly elliptical orbit, after several months' journey in the freezing darkness and jet-black cold of the outer space, I'm coming back to the inner planets, feeling the fire of the still distant star slowly starting to melt me, a spectacular trail of myself behind me as I speed towards the center. Unfreezing is the worst part, for the things that froze with you awaken and begin to stir - in other words, it is relatively easy to say, let alone sing, what L.C. does; it isn't hard to believe when you're alone out there in the outer darkness, thinking your own really deep thoughts. It is when you come back to life when this resolution wavers, falters and crashes. It is really easy to uphold if you don't see her, talk to her, feel her hand brush yours. It is at days like today you wish you are on a course towards the Earth.