Yesterday I had a three hour dental appointment for the temporary crown for a broken tooth.

Oh, I am lucky to have the finances to pay to fix my teeth.

The day before yesterday was awful and exhausting and a replay of the past revamped. I was so tired.

In all of the medical stuff, I have been diagnosed with laryngospasm. For five months after the strep, I was hoarse if I talked. My muscles were weird, weird, weird. However, I could still sing, which didn't make sense.

I saw ENT and then speech therapy and they said I have laryngospasm and need to learn to talk the way I sing. I find it difficult to do this without actually singing.

So the tension Monday meant I was hoarse on Tuesday. I didn't think much about it. But when the dentist numbed me, he got half my tongue.

Then it was hard to breathe. The muscles in my throat were freaked out and twitchy and kept trying to tighten up. It was awful. He needed to work on the tooth. I ended up holding my jaw forward with my hands, to get the muscles to relax enough to be able to breath. I cried, which disconcerted my nice dentist. I was mostly crying about the day before, but I also don't like not being able to breath. I used the zen meditation and held my breath for long periods. Feeling returned to my tongue after about an hour and a half and then I could breathe again.

Jon Kabat Zinn's work helped too. I found that I didn't have to hold my jaw, really. Just having my hands on my jaw or throat muscles was different enough sensory input than the drilling in my mouth that I could relax my muscles. They kept trying to tighten back up, but I would focus again and relax them. The dentist gave me juice, which helped and then an ensure, which also helped. My blood sugar will drop below 70 and my nailbeds turn blue and I feel pretty awful then. Mild hypoglycemia, not dangerous, just feel bad. I used to eat the little peanut butters at 2 am in the hospital when my blood sugar would tank. Lowest I've measured is 66, but I can tell.

I am still tired today and really happy to not be in the dental chair.

Jon Kabat Zinn
Mindfulness Meditation

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