The Manteca Waterslides are a collection of waterslides located in the fragrant town of Manteca, CA. They broadcast commercials all over Northern California consisting of screaming, singing, happy children sliding happily down large slides of somewhat clear fluid. Although i find waterslides somewhat enjoyable, i would never get anywhere near the Manteca Waterslides. Here's why:
Manteca means lard. Yep, you guessed it... thick, slimy cow fat. They named this waterslide after beef fat. Why? I personally suspect that the fluid lubricating these 'waterslides' is in fact lard. Sure, these waterslides would go pretty damn fast, and you wouldnt have to stop at the hot dog stand on the way out. But isnt anyone disturbed by this? I dont think mothers should take their screaming kids to play in lard. it clogs my arteries just thinking about it. And the smell must get pretty bad after a while. Also, imagine what would happen if someone threw a cigarette into the pool at the bottom of the slide. Scary stuff.

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