Make sure the following items are nearby, in the possession of, and owned by the Maker of the Sandwich (hereby Maker):
- A container containing at least two slices of bread, cut widthwise along the loaf. (Lengthwise is fine too, if the Maker wishes to create a longer Sandwich.) The bread needs to be at least a half inch thick, and no more than an inch thick. This bread should not be stale, but if stale bread is available, then it is acceptable, though it will hurt the quality of the Sandwich.
- A container containing at least several tablespoons of jam or jelly, flavored with fruit (e.g. grape jelly, strawberry jam).
- A container containing at least several tablespoons of peanut butter, crunchy or not.
These food items should not be expired, moldy, damaged, or inedible in any way, as per standards set by the United States Food and Drug Administration.
In addition, non-consumable items also need to be nearby, in the possession of, and with permission for use for the Maker (ownership of these non-consumable items is not required, but optional):
- At least one butter knife, made of standard cutlery material, such as stainless steel or plastic.
- At least one spoon, sized as per cutlery (as opposed to a serving spoon or a ladle), made of standard cutlery material, such as stainless steel or plastic.
- At least one dinner plate, made of standard material, such as ceramic, porcelain, paper, or plastic.
All items listed above must not be damaged or harmful in any unusual way. The items must be sanitary. The plate must not be broken.
The Maker should place these items on a flat, sanitary surface that is large enough (a clean kitchen counter is ideal) for the Maker to complete the following steps safely:
The Maker should gently remove two slices of bread from the container the bread is in, and lay them on top of the dinner plate, such that both slices have their biggest planes parallel to the plate (i.e. don’t stand the bread up, lay it flat.)
Safely and without damaging the jelly and peanut butter containers, the Maker should open the containers for the jelly and the peanut butter. The individual instructions may vary per container; please read the lid or the label of the container if the Maker requires further assistance. Any lids the Maker removes from the containers should be placed next to the containers in a manner that doesn’t create additional mess.
Using only one hand, the Maker should grasp the spoon around the narrow part, leaving the wide oval portion of the spoon out of the Maker’s grip. With the other hand, the Maker should grasp the container of jam or jelly in such a manner that the jam or jelly does not spill, does not break, does not create a mess, get on the Maker’s hand, and remains steady.
The Maker should insert the oval end of the spoon into the jam or jelly, and get a scoop of jam or jelly, enough to coat one of the two top-side faces of bread that are on the plate. Then, using the spoon, the Maker places the previously-retrieved scoop of jam or jelly on the slice of bread, and uses the convex portion of the spoon to smear the jam or jelly around, evenly distributing it across the face of that particular slice of bread. The Maker should only do this to one slice of bread, as the other one is for the peanut butter.
When the Maker has smeared an amount of jam or jelly on the bread that the Maker has deemed appropriate (as some Makers prefer little jam or jelly, and others prefer gobs of jam or jelly dripping from their Sandwich), the Maker should optionally lick the spoon clean of the jam or jelly (if no further Sandwiches are to be made; doing this when there are more Sandwiches to be made causes this spoon to be no longer sanitary, necessitating a new spoon to be used), and then put the spoon in a sink or dirty dishwasher nearby (or other receptacle for dirty utensils as agreed upon by means not disclosed in this manual). If instead more Sandwiches are to be made, the spoon can be rested on top of the lid of the container of the jam or jelly.
Grasping the butter knife by the non-serrated end, the Maker should insert the serrated end of the butter knife into the jar of peanut butter, and remove the knife from the jar such that it has about a tablespoon of peanut butter on it. In a manner similar to smearing the jelly as previously mentioned, the Maker should then smear peanut butter onto the slice of bread that does not have the jelly smeared on it. The peanut butter should be smeared onto an equivalent face of that slice of bread. If the Maker wishes, additional peanut butter may be smeared onto the same face of the same slice of bread, to taste. Be warned though, too much peanut butter may affect the structural integrity of the Sandwich.
Once this is complete, the butter knife should be rested in a manner similar to the spoon, as detailed previously. Please note that the butter knife may be reused for further Sandwiches, if it is handled sanitarily.
With the jam or jelly and peanut butter applied to the bread, and both utensils rested as previously noted, the Maker should have their hands clear and not holding anything.
Using hands, the Maker should press the two slices of bread together such that the faces containing the peanut butter and the jam or jelly are parallel to each other, perpendicular about their center axis, lined up at the edges, and in contact. Do not press too hard, as this may smush the Sandwich. Force beyond moving the slices of bread together shouldn’t be needed.
If these instructions are completed accurately and with intention, a Sandwich will be formed as a result.