My doctor congratulated me today. He said, "You've dropped from morbidly obese to overweight in the last year. Congratulations and keep up the good work."
Yeah, well. Over the last year I've bounced up and down and slowly lost a total of five pounds. Though I might be up again tomorrow a pound or so. But apparently I've crossed some magical doctor line where I am in a different category. Yay, me.
I don't think he likes my hair, either. There is less of it and I've let it grow grey. For my 60th birthday I let my looks-twelve-years-old hair dresser put lavender high lights in. My doctor is giving me the "weird old woman" fish eye. I am tired of being entirely invisible, so I thought, why not? Not that it did anything. I am still older, fat, divorced once, widowed once, totally invisible unless someone wants something.
And I won a contest. I filled out the form in some trashy romance and now I have won a cruise. A cruise: yeah, exactly what I need. Food with no exercise. It's a "Volcano Cruise" for Hot Volcano Romances. Apparently it will have a real live volcano expert professor on board and will go from Halifax, Nova Scotia to Iceland. Then we get a walking tour of volcanoes, to work off all the eating on board the ship, I guess. Why couldn't I win a tropical vacation? Yeah, and there I go, win something and complain.
I call the cruise people.
"Yes, the Cruise in early June." says the cruise line phone person. "Are you a physician?"
"That is the Endocrine Update Cruise."
"No! I won a Volcano Cruse." I give her the number.
"Oh, yes. The Volcano Group is running simultaneously with the Endocrine Cruise."
I give my name and information. They will cover the trip to Halifax, which is amazing. But... lowest bid. They will get back to me.
"And the other person?"
"It's a Cruise For Two."
I stare blankly at the letter. It IS a cruise for two. What?
"Um. Can I get back to you? Um, do you have rooms with twin beds?"
She laughs. "Of course! We will make your travel arrangements as soon as we have the second name."
I have a cruise for two and no love interest. So I'll invite a friend. If I can come up with a friend who can take a week off, likes volcanoes and I can stand to share a room with for a week!
"What is the ratio of men to women on this cruise?" I ask.
"We cannot share information about other guests," she says. "However, there are more physicians then volcano cruisers."
After I put the phone down, I search the internet for endocrine cruises. I find it and read the brochure. Great: endocrine means that half the talks will be on diabetes or obesity. Won't THAT be fun.
I am going to sleep on it. Who to invite and who would enjoy it and be reasonably fun....