What is it about this time in my life?
I feel so out of the loop. I feel disconnected from the world and everyone in it. It is almost as if I am a spectator in life. I only view events that happen to others, but I am not part of the whole.
It is a pain that is neither sharp nor crippling. I can operate within my sphere of life unhindered except for those brief moments where my introspection freezes time. At those moments it seems as though life slows to a crawl and I wonder what am I doing? Am I really living my life as I should be?
I have a life where my family has always supported me and my friends care about me. After four not-so-easy college years I have acquired a good job that affords me a nice place to live. I have no worries, no diseases, and no disabilities.
Logic and emotion rarely coincide. Emotions do not necessarily have a root cause. They simply are. Perhaps in time I will understand why I have these feelings. Maybe I will find that illusive something that I feel I am missing.
Someone once told me that their 20's was the hardest time in their life. It was a time spent searching for one's identity. A time to find out who they are.
I hope I can find that illusive something that I'm searching for.