I was once in love with a man.
For six long years. He made me a promise. When he was 30, we would get back together. He assumed he'd be ready for his third marriage then. During the six years we were on, and off again.
Yet, we always had that "in the end we'll be together" thought in the back of our minds.
I know this sounds very silly, and not a very smart thing to fall for. I knew that it was all fantasy in a way.. we were good at that.. using each other to run away from our realities.
I think somewhere in my mind I saw his words as a failsafe. A safety net, "my love life may be crappy now.. but in the end I will have someone".
I still love him very much. Yet, today.. as his 30th birthday approaches I realize I have let the safety net go.
The fairy tale isn't even that anymore. Although healthy, and feeling free from his grasp.. I am kind of sad. There is something that makes me almost tearful coming to this realization. Maybe it is letting go of the past, maybe it is realizing there is no story book ending. Maybe it is realizing even though we love one another, for the first time we both can say .. it is finally over.