The World Wide Web
, or w3 (god damn soul sucking buzzwords/acronyms)
as some call it, was invented by CERN
started out as HTML 1.0
, it was pure and virgin
back then. No crappy tables
, no browser-proprietary junk. Frames were something you hung on a wall, and JAVA
still a concept.
was released by NCSA in 1993. At this time, the Internet
was still just something geeks used. There were all types of geeks. One special type of geek
who helped create the w3 was a physics
geek. We shall call him The Physics Geek
. Everyone just figured to be a normal guy with a new idea, but they didn't know that he had been on a Vision-quest (TM)
Oh yes, The Physics Geek
had found a portal
to a plane that had all the answers. On this plane, they informed him of "The Blink"
. The Blink
was a very powerful, yet wonderful
thing. It cures cancer, restores family values, and will help you save on your income tax.
The Physics Geek
knew he would be laughed at, and dis-credited if he revealed this information, but he couldn't just keep it to himself. He decided that he would slowly integrate The Blink
into society, and what a better place to do it than a tiny intellecutual community
. So thats what he did. He decided to create a switch for The Blink
in his new mark-up language called Hyper Text Mark-up Language
. It was an easy way to control The Blink.
Unfortunatly he misjudged the geek community. He forgot these were the people were book smart
, yet some were very close-minded
. They didn't even give The Blink
a chance. They damned
it. They ridiculed
it. Then they banished
it. By the time Mosaic
was passe, and Netscape
1.21b (used colors, didn't eat memory, wasn't that bloated - yum!) was released, using The Blink
was worse than declaring that the Windows 95 original alpha release was bug free
. The Physics Geek
was crushed, but then he became angry. He decided to punish the world by never revealing The Blink's
powers. And to this very day, we are in a blink-free world, and we are all a little worse off for it.
Author's note: No I am not on crack today.