In the process of breaking in my brand new 2002 Subaru Impreza WRX
, some friends and I decided to zip down to the beach
. These friends happened to be Loren and Carlson who, as readers of my Highway Tales
know, were both involved in another infamous beach trip
resulting in a wrecked Porsche
So anyway, the three of us hopped in my new car and set out for our favorite beach, speeding merrily along the way. At exactly 12am, I topped a blind hill mere miles from the beach and nearly jumped through the roof when my radar detector exploded with noise and light. I slammed on the brakes in the hopes that the cop hadn't gotten a reading, but alas, he had, and we were pulled over.
After a friendly lecture from Officer Ballzer (and a citation, of course) we were on our way again. We followed the speed limit and soon arrived at a beach of the open, drive-in variety, meaning that you drive your car right out onto the beach and park it.
As soon as all four tires were on the sand, an enormous light bulb lit up over all three of our collective heads. We realized, with great joy, that we were on a wide open, empty beach in what is quite possibly the greatest production rally car in North America.
Much whompage on the gas pedal ensued, and much sand was flung into low Earth orbit by my happy high-speed powerslides and four spinning tires. I drove in seemingly random figure-eights and circles and squares, just feeling the car's power surge beneath me and watching the plumes of sand launch into the night sky as I slid around on the empty beach. It was insanely fun.
Suddenly, in the midst of a beautiful spin, we noticed another set of headlights entering the beach. Upon closer investigation, the lights turned out to belong to a tiny old Honda CRX packed to the brim with horny teenagers, most likely looking for a dark place to make out. They glanced at us with some confusion, but slowly crept on down the beach and eventually parked and extinguished their lights, no doubt steaming up the windows soon thereafter.
We continued our rally-driving, oblivious to their intrusion. Suddenly, we saw more lights. This time, the lights were way off down the beach, just over a small rise. At first, we thought it was just a house we hadn't noticed before. But after several more spins, we realized that the lights seemed to be getting closer. Wary of being caught, I drove halfway behind an artificial sand dune and parked, extinguishing all but my parking lights (it was pitch black and I didn't want to get hit by that Honda if it returned).
The lights got closer. As we watched, a car came into view, making its way slowly down the beach along the shoreline, towards us. We strained to make out markings or lightbars, but we could see nothing but headlights in the dark night. I kept the engine running, ready to speed off into the darkness if it turned out to be someone unfriendly. Eventually, the car came to within 50 feet of us, then stopped. When the brake lights came on, I spotted just a tiny hint of reflection off a lightbar on the roof, and that was all I needed. We were off like a flash.
The cop followed us for about a mile or so, then turned back. He had definitely seen our lights spinning in crazy loops around the beach, and was no doubt suspicious. I'm guessing he found the parked Honda and, once everyone got their clothes back on, asked a few questions. I decided that it wasn't a good idea to tempt the cops too much in one night.
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