To the tune "Last Year's Man" by Leonard Cohen...
The fans gave up on last year's band
There's a contract on the table, a wad of money in his hand
And the treble of the playback is ruined since it rolled
Past rotten heads of walkmans when the songs were solid-gold,
And the highlight was his skin
So they screamed and shook his hand
But all the fans got tired, thank god
Of the crap of last year's band.
I knew a lady, she was singing, bringing teenage girls to tears
And all at once she told them, "Hi, my name's Britney Spears!"
Well, i had her em-pee-threes for just a little while
But when she said she'd abstain, Napster chucked the files,
And the bass stayed in the bin
And the singing all was canned
And everyone groaned "Oh man, oh man
Ditch this crap from last year's band."
I came upon a boy-group that some A and R contrived
They shook their asses madly, up, down, and side to side
And one of them named Ricky tried to sing a song
But all that people wanted was just to see his schlong,
And the churches said he'd sinned
But the business sure did pay
And now we want him to go, go, go
Aller, aller, aller!
I thought of all the new-kids; now old-kids gone too far
All have become drunkards, I saw them in the bar
One guy puked his guts out, one guy ordered more
They tried to sing "The Right Stuff" and were booted out the door,
And the singing was all skewed
For their voices all had changed
And though they tried, we all knew
They'd never be cool again.
Now the kids are bored of this silly game
The boybands dance by jumbo-jets, their t-shirts soaked with rain
But albums just aren't selling, the losses hard to hide
As listeners scream for something Carson Daly can't provide,
'Cause the highlight was his skin
And they screamed and shook his hand
But all the kids gave up, amen
On the crap...
...of last year's band