The highlight of many childrens' existence is to wake up one morning to find a parent or an older sibling mixing colorful, good smelling batter in a large bowl. They'll pour the contents in a pan and hand over the Hope Diamond of childhood: The spoon. Everyone loves licking the spoon, unfortunately, there can only be one who does it. For families with more than one kid, fights are breaking out all over the world over who gets to lick the spoon.
I always keep either my iPod or a notebook close to me when I sleep in case I get a dream I want to remember. I'll wake up and, half-asleep, I'll jot down in either terrible handwriting or typo-infested text what I saw in my dream, then, depending what time it was, get up or crawl back under my blankets for more sleep.
A few nights ago, I went to bed late and woke up early. Somewhere in between, I had a dream. I can't remember what happened in it or what lead to the sudden burst of what I thought was a stroke genius, but in the middle of my dream, I said aloud, "If we just serve pudding, everyone could lick the spoon!"
I'm a genius! How could this have not been thought up before? Parades will be thrown in my honor! I'll win the Nobel Prize and be adored by children with siblings everywhere! I thought in my sleepy-daze as I grabbed my iPod to write it down. Everyone can lick the spoon now!
When I finally woke up for real, I checked my iPod and found my note.
I'm an idiot.
Now, I'm starting to believe that being asleep is the sober equivalent to being drunk.