June 29, 2001

At work today, an era has ended. Our group's manager, one of the first people hired into the Network Operations Center, has had enough. He will be missed. However, because of this, those of us left behind have found a new determination to take the power we once had back from the incompetent goons now in charge. At this point, there's nothing left to lose. We've got two other departments behind us, and we're trying to get the CEO on board as well. They have no idea of the shitstorm which they have unleashed.

Betsy- The Princess Bride is the ultimate fairy tale love story, with some great puns. He's a romantic. Or smart.

So today I did nothing but sleep till noon and putz around the house listening to NIN and Nick Cave. Fun day. Spent the evening battling this EVIL Dell Digo left me with. Blasted thing is cursed.

Going to Comp USA tomorrow down the road to check out jobs. Hear they have a good employee discount

After that, back to the haunted hills of Woodstock, ct, to reclaim Lilith (my car). Tire blew out on her, so she got new skins. Found it ironic that my mom lost the key on the way to pick her boyfriend outta rehab..suddenly cured the day after I leave for LI. That's my windspirit, looking out for me (grin) Pink Floyd's Pulse video is almost over, and I need sleep. Ciao kids-

11:32

Morning...

Some free time again! Cool! =)

A friend of mine was here from Sunday to Thursday... we had a lot of fun with movies and computer thingies.

I bought a new joystick (Logitech Wingman Extreme 3D), because USB clearly beats the crappy normal PC joystick interface that never quite seems to work properly in this machine (oh, the sticks work OK, but finding the stick in first place is boring!)

Also, a new USB hub allowed me to connect all USB things to the box AND move the webcam to a more interesting place - on top of the monitor...

Yesterday, I bought a new game - Operation Flashpoint. It didn't work at first (major crashes), but when I upgraded the display drivers, it worked like charm. First thoughts? The thing beats Half-Life any day! Almost like real war stuff, just with no sweat =)

The first single mission in the list was rather odd, though: "Go to the enemy camp and steal an UAZ car, then head home." Having been aboard one of those, I have no idea why would anyone want to steal that kind of piece of junk? I think that's a clever Russian battle plan =) =)

20:54

Oh, yeah, just remembered that SuperMegaHub® idea I had a few days ago: I would terribly appreciate a switch box that would have

• USB hub (ports on both front and back)
• Choice for multiple sound inputs and outputs
• Printer and serial port input/output switch

combined into one single unit... Hm, I think I saw an unit like this from Guillemot (I think) that had just this, except for the printer/serial things (which I no longer need that much)...

Damn, I really need to get a new hard disk soon!

Interesting: Even when I use external power on my new USB hub, it doesn't seem to be able to find the Microsoft joypad - the simplest of the devices on the bus.

0:59

Goddamn it. I'm too tired to boot to Linux to post updates...

I had some "fun" upgrading drivers. I just upgraded the mouse driver, and I hope the mouse wheel will now work in Black & White and Operation Flashpoint. No, I haven't tried. No, I can't really try right now, too tired.

I also upgraded my PCTV software to 4.02. Net effect: It placed the previously-carefully-deleted Windows Media Player icon to desktop and...

Driver: "Hey, your video capture card doesn't really work!" Me: "Yes, I knew that! That's why I upgraded!" Driver: "No idea why. Is there a hardware conflict?" Me: "Not as far as I know, and it seems to be fine." Driver: "Well, blame MS for making disposable OSes. Must go now... Bye."

Five reboots, about 15 minutes of my life wasted on rebooting today. Still the same net effect.

Oh, yeah, I died the first time in Operation Flashpoint today. Ironically, that happened when replaying an otherwise successful mission... I'm now in the forest. All alone. Scary. "The Russians are coming!"

(Yeah, MSIE still sucks. Scroll is WAY too slow to my taste and middle mouse button is completely wasted. I mean, scroll feature? Isn't that what the wheel is for?)

---

Other day logs o' mine...

Late news: hub

Noded today by y.t.: UAZ

Updated: fuck (just added a helpful tip to other people... Stop upvoting trash and synthetize!)

the events in my life have caused me to determine that I am somehow destined for greatness. I have an innate knack for every task I encounter. I also would like to do many different types of things, but I lack the knowledge of whom to contact.

I'd like to do other things, but they, unfortunately, cost money. Something that I don't have on hand. I would love to work on classic cars, or building a garishly superlative Low-rider.

I would start a band but I can't find the right interpersonal chemistry. My inability to write music might have something to do with it too. So, I'm a bit stumped.

I've accomplished two great personal achievements so far, One each in my spiritual life, and my romantic. I have actually met, and taken photographs of my spirit animal. I have also met the woman Which I would like to believe I will marry someday. I just can't help asking "What's next?" Maybe I'll stumble on it, maybe it'll be the Graduate-like advice of investing in something about to blow up on the market. Maybe I'll go down in infamy, but I doubt it.

Anything scientific is out mainly because I don't do well with physical science.

I dunno, maybe I'll have children that will be forever remembered, and that's where my legacy will lie.

Most days I've got to remind myself that I'm still a kid.

I'm breaking my self-imposed daylog ban, but since I have to get the accident info in writing anyway, I might as well put it here.

So at 10:20 PM last night, I was driving north on Route 110 in Farmingdale in the left lane.  At the corner of 100 and Smith Street, the SUV in front of me got cut off by a car who decided to make a left turn from the middle lane.  The SUV was able to stop in time, but I wasn't and I rear-ended the SUV...I was going 30 MPH in the beginning, was able to slow down to 15 MPH or so before impact.

The guy was nice enough...after making sure we were both alright, we pulled into the Hess station next to the intersection and calmly exchanged insurance info.  Much better than having a mother screaming at me with four small children crying hysterically like the last time I got into an accident (four years ago).

My front lights are all smashed and the front of the hood is banged downward, so I can't pop it open to see underneath.  Luckily, it doesn't look like there's any engine damage.  Ironically, because I hit an SUV, the damage is higher and the bumper is completely pristine.  The SUV has minor scratches to his trunk door and bumper, and that's about it.  The car who swerved gets away scot-free, since he was never impacted.

I called my parents up; we decided the car was in good enough condition to try to drive it home.  So, we drove home with my dad driving my car with the blinkers on, my mom following directly behind.  The car was driving fine, which is a good sign at least.

Got a ride into work today, bringing the car in later to get an estimate.  I also have to call the guy I hit up to see if he's filing a claim or not.

Not what I needed today. At this point I'm just glad no one was hurt.

Right after meeting, I met M. to borrow his glue gun. I wish I had never said anything to him about the wish for a booty call. . Not because it wasn't true, just because I didn't want to start up any issues. I've got enough on my plate, thank you very much. Because he called me a couple of days later wanting to know what I meant. What it meant. Etc, etc, etc, etc...

So when we met, we talked for a bit then he leaned in to kiss me, and kept kissing me. I didn't really want to kiss him last night. I was feeling a lot of emotions, anxiety, anger, sadness, and trying to stay with them when I really didn't. Also it was hot and I was not interested in being hotter and getting sweaty lips - yuck. And then he wanted to kiss me and I still don't know how to say "I don't want to kiss right now" to M. without hurting him. I don't seem to have that problem with other people, so I will have to work on that. We had a fairly codependent relationship for a while, and still do, and it's difficult to change that pattern. Which is one of the reasons I don't want to see him too often. I really want to change that pattern and not have that old anxious stuff about pleasing him keep crowding my head.

Then I got home and called my mom's house to talk to my niece and ended up on the phone for over an hour with my mom. She was basically through with me avoiding her and acting all snippety and bitchy with her for so long - and asked for some boundaries in our relationship because it just hurt too much. So I apologized a lot, and tried to explain without going into stuff I didn't want to go into. And agreed to come up with something.

I wish she and I lived far apart, but we don't.

I'm baaaaaaaaaa-aaaaack.

As of this moment, I am done teaching (for at least a week), and all of the things I've been neglecting are finally back on the agenda. And E2 is high on the list ... if only slightly behind sleeping and painting.

In any case, I spent the last five weeks teaching introductory physics to pre-meds at my university. This summer course setup is intense. I was only doing discussion sections (also known as recitations for those of you at hoity-toity colleges), but it was absolutely consuming.

But so rewarding.

Teaching was an absolutely wonderful experience. I got to see someone get it. Over the course of a single five-week session I saw my students change their method of thinking. I saw them grow. I watched them learn how to attack complicated problems and apply what they'd learned to situations they would never have dreamed of ever facing before. I witnessed as they entered the doors of a course they didn't want to take (but had to) and rocked it.

But after three-hour review sessions and piles of papers of grading I was beat. And they knew it.

And when I walked in the door today at the beginning of their final exam, they broke out into spontaneous applause. With my professor clapping right with them. Wow. (Somebody must have told him I was here until ten o'clock)

... I'm so ready for the free time that I finally get to enjoy for a little while, but I know I'm going to miss this.

Pre-Log

I have acquired numerous parking tickets in the city of San Francisco. Until today, I really had no idea how many or the total amount of the fees. I have had this cavalier, ‘pay them later’ kind of attitude, towards my citation collection.

It is virtually impossible to park in San Francisco without paying an exuberant amount of money, unless you have a garage or your work does. All parking zones near my work and my home allow for only two hours of parking. Going over the two hours will result in a $30.00 ticket. These zones also have street cleaning 2 to 3 days out of the week, in the wee hours of the morning.

Log

Today my car was towed. I was parked outside of my girlfriend's apartment. Apparently they had some early morning street sweeping and decided that I had enough tickets to go ahead and tow it. I checked with the Department of Parking and Traffic to find out what I owed and how many tickets I had. 26 tickets for a total of $769.00.

Friday, June 29th 2001 9:00AM
Take the Bart to work.
Friday, June 29th 2001 9:45AM
Called all necessary departments.
Friday, June 29th 2001 10:00AM
Walked 6 blocks to the DPT, to pay tickets totaling $769.00.
Friday, June 29th 2001 11:30AM
Walked 6 more blocks to the Hall of Justice, where the City Tow office is located, to pay another $139.25.
Friday, June 29th 2001 12:30PM
Took a cab to Pier 70, located across town near the bay, to retrieve my towed car.
Friday, June 29th 2001 1:30PM
Returned to work. Parked in the 2 hour zone outside.

Post-Log

Car for Sale
1997 Honda Civic 4DR
Dark Green, Nice condition.
Best Offer or trade for high end mountain bike.

I'm kidding

Basic end to a basic week.

The days just roll by lately, I'm moving out of my house into the college dorms at UNCA. My days creep slowly by, and I'm dealing with my parents alot in strange ways, I think they are dealing with my leaving in strange ways. I know they are experienceing separation anxiety, but it's really getting on my nerves. They feel like they need to be "more of parents" than usual for my last month home. True, we should spend time together, but they dont' need to scold me more, lecture me more, and nag me more.

Although I haven't been doing much on E2 in the past month or two (or three), I've still been writing alot, so I'll be noding some poems soon, I suggest you check out my homenode to read it, I'll probably hard link them to this node also, so you could check back here if you want.
Goo'Bye for now.

When I woke up today, I was a little confused as to what day it was. According to the dream I had, it should be Saturday. I slept in a bit and then ate breakfast while browsing E2.

Two hours later...my mother came home and tells me we're having lunch with my grandparents at MCL (it's liver and onions day - yippee!....GAG!!) We had a pleasant lunch together, but now it feels like Sunday because we *always* have lunch together on Sunday.

This afternoon I started reading parts of an HTML book my boyfriend, T, has lent me...learning how to make frames. Also T has been wonderful in talking to the HP people for me about getting me a new video card because mine's doing goofy things. The new card should be in on Monday. I'm going to have to part with my computer for a WHOLE day! (I don't know if I can survive ;P )

T came over and had dinner with us, and then we all (grandparents, mother, boyfriend, and I) went over to the library to see Cast Away with Tom Hanks. The people running the DVD player were having some issues with the remote and the player, but they did eventually get the movie going. Good movie. It won't ever be on my favorites list, though.

After we got back to my house and T had left, mom and I started talking about our plans for tomorrow. I told her that T had asked if I could go see a movie with him Saturday night.

MOM: "I don't think so. It's been kind of a heavy T week. You saw him Monday, Wednesday, and Friday."
ME: "Maybe it hasn't been a heavy T week...maybe all the other weeks were light T weeks."

She didn't go for it.