A long ways back I mentioned the possibility of re-uniting with my older kids. I dunno, as of today, I feel I might be a step closer
Since that date, my oldest child and me have had what can be best described as a sporadic E-mail relationship. For the most part, the conversation was of the safe nature. You know, inquiring about other people’s health, the weather, what have you been up to sorta stuff. A lot of the time, the conversation focused on borgette and what she has been up to and how she was doing. I liked the fact that we were trading e-mails and that we were at least communicating in one form or another. A little later, my oldest daughter began sending snail mail addressed to borgette and me to my house. I dunno, getting a piece of real mail via the post office from a real person is kinda like coming home to a prize. Anyway, yesterday I was the recipient of such a prize and since borgette was off to her mom’s house for the week, I decided to take a look inside.
It was a simple card with some simple handwritten words. Enclosed were some pictures of her recent trip to Sedona, Arizona. She looked so happy and the surroundings seemed to fit her so naturally that I felt my heart tugging at my chest. I hadn’t actually spoken to her in over four years (I’ve been described as a stubborn asshole on more than one occasion!) and the last time we did speak, the conversation, if you can call it that was accusatory and vindictive. Not the things pleasant memories are made of.
I went out to my porch, cracked a beer, and kept turning the photo’s over and over in my hands. Should I pick up the phone and call? Should I just keep things the way they are? What if the conversation turns “nasty”? What if I don’t even recognize her voice? What if, what if, what if….
I guess I was kinda nervous because the first time I tried to dial her number, I got it wrong. After a few deep breaths I tried again and she answered on the second ring.
I don’t want to bore you with too many sappy details but the conversation went better than I could have ever imagined. Sure, we talked about the “safe” stuff for awhile but we also managed to talk about feelings and about the future. The years of distance between us seem to melt away. Our chat lasted close to 45 minutes (which for me is a lifetime on the phone) and closed with a promise to talk more often in the near future. After I hung up I was hit with an overwhelming sense of relief and immediately wished the conversation hadn’t come to an end. I almost picked up the phone again but thought I might be overdoing it.
I guess a wise man once said “All good things take time.” or something like that. I’m hopin’ he was right because too much time has passed between us and too many memories have yet to be forged and I hope our time has come. No plans were made to see each other just yet but if things keep going the way they are, who knows?
You know, come to think of it, I slept better last night than I have in a long, long time..