Today after work I went over to my mom's to work on my resume. Even though I paid for a service to do one for me, I thought that this was something I could do while I was waiting for them, and despite how tired and irritable I am, I'm really glad that I did. Working has given me more self confidence than I had. Previously I was ashamed of how spotty my resume was. It seemed as if I was the only person who had a streaky history of many low paying jobs in a variety of industries, many prospective and former employers ask me why I've had so many jobs as if their organization is completely free from drama, or has no issues with turnover. I think one thing that really helped is the amount of writing I do on a daily basis. Even something like writing about my days is good because writing as a craft builds on itself.
I sent my new and improved resume to my recruiter and received an email notification that he is out of town until Friday. I think he'll be impressed with the changes, and I don't think I'll have a problem getting better jobs going forward. This past job has hammered home the critical importance of trusting my gut. From the moment I walked into that place I felt uneasy, and it wasn't just because I was nervous because I've been on many interviews (understatement) in my life, and I don't even know how many this past year. I'm actually still amazed that I've kept this job for as long as I have because it's not a good fit and I seem to be the only person who fully understands how dysfunctional the interpersonal dynamics are there. Today I got into some minor trouble for not using alerts in the software that we have. It's not a big deal to me, but apparently is to them. That's not how my brain works, but now I'll be wasting more time doing this going forward.
In a way, I can't wait to leave that place. It's just not right for me. I feel good about the job my friend sent me, but they would require a background check which means disclosing the fact that I was fired from a previous job. It's not that big of a deal, some days I don't even think about it. Years ago I had an anatomy teacher who said that the first thing he checks for is internal logic within essays. That's stuck with me, and I finally was able to see the logic behind applying that to my resume. Now, I look great on paper, but it's really because I have the confidence and self esteem to write about why I'm an amazing asset to whatever organization looks at me online. Obviously I'm not perfect, but I tied past jobs into current accomplishments, and I think I have something that makes me stand out as a candidate. Whatever happens, I'm proud of myself. For staying at this job, for refusing to settle, for writing like I do, just for being me. It's pretty cool and I hope I always feel this way.
P.S. I almost didn't write this today, but I want to get back into the habit of writing something personal every single day.