July 25, 2007

So here we fucking go a-fucking-gain.

Oh my teh godzors, the site might have pictures. Fuck me sideways.

Okay, look, we’re all painfully creative people here. If you write us a poem about flowers and post a 60 x 60 of your girlfriend blowing a kiss, we're going to downvote the hell out of it, kapeeshe?

And I’ll admit, before I go any further, I have no idea what purpose pictures could possibly serve on this site, either. Does that mean I’m going to quit writing here in protest? Hell no. Why? Well, let me explain it like this:

I’m not just a writer. I also paint from time to time. I like it. However, I don’t transcend mediums because painting makes me happy. It makes me happy in very much the same way working with clay does not. I don’t find it fun. So do I spend all my days trying to make sure I live in a clay free world? No, of course not. Some really wonderful things have been built out of clay.

Limiting creativity by limiting creative outlets is a bad idea. You keep saying over and over and over and over and over again that e2 is about the people. That’s, in fact, pretty much the only point any of you pro-stone-age-neophobes have ever made. Everyone who has argued against the changing and advancing of e2. It’s about the people.

Well, if it’s about the people, stop fighting to limit them. If we’re really a community, and we are not defined by that which we produce, but by who we are and how we interact, then it won’t make a difference.

So pictures might not seem like a good idea right this very second, but I’m willing to bet a painfully large amount of money that it only takes about a week before one of us does something genuinely cool with the option. E2 is about the people, and I trust them to continue to be amazing and to continue to awe and inspire me. Therefore I trust that the more options these people are given, the better they will be at doing just that.

We’ve all been blown away by five hundred and twelve bytes of writeup.

Just imagine what these people could do with color.

I've noticed, that, in the lead up to moving house this weekend, I seem to be suffering from a bizarre syndrome.

I call this syndrome the "Pre-DSL High". Basically, a few days before you are about to get one of the fabled 8 megabit connections, you begin concocting all sorts of crazy schemes that rely on super-fast internet access. In the latest stages, I created a list of things to do.

• Download every linux distro I can find.
• Download Garry's Mod again, because it is a 1.5 GB download.
• Download complete movies!
• Download e-books!
• Download (after this point, all that can be found on the paper is indecipherable scrawling. The syndrome must be making me lose the ability to write.)

Help! I must find the cure!

Ladies and gentlemen: prepare for horn tooting.

So first the backstory. My filmmaking wunderkind wife Courtney and I (the money backer husband) entered the 48 Hour Film Project in Austin back in June. The rules are simple - you have to make a movie from start to finish in 48 hours. It has to be 4 to 7 minutes long, you pick your genre from a hat, and everyone has to use a predetermined character, line of dialogue, and prop (to make sure you don't just use some old film you shot.)

Our genre was comedy, the character ended up being a trainer named Millie Turner, the prop was a fishing pole, and the dialogue was "How did you know I was here?" Our resulting film, "Psych 101", can be found on YouTube (UPDATE creases was kind enough to find the link for me, it can be viewed at http://youtube.com/watch?v=KoIy1Y4qc1o.)

They showed the films originally on June 29, and from there they were judged professionally for a number of awards. Well, the awards show was this past Monday, and we cleaned up nicely!

We won awards for Best Original Score (by yours truly), Best Writing (the whole team, led by myself), Best Use Of Prop, and Best Use of Dialogue - these last two are pretty great to win for this contest, since they are so emphasized, and doubly so because while a lot of entrants view the requirements as obstacles, we go out of our way to make them an integral part of the story.

Unfortunately, we didn't win the top prizes (Best Director or Best Picture), but after the show one of the judges came up to Courtney and told her that both of those prizes had been 2-1 split decisions, and we had been the 1. So, a little consolation (and the winning film was very good, so we didn't feel too bad about it.)

So now I can say I'm an award-winning writer and composer. Hey, you gotta start somewhere ...

All right. I agree with Mikebert, this has been a wonderful place, a haven for writers, an awesome community, but these changes, they're just too much, too quickly and I think I'm going to quit noding, too. I mean, there are never any new write-ups (only about seven and a half since 2005) and all the new users since then are all trolls controlled by Toasterleavings. I know these new features are all meant to solve these problems but honestly, I think it's going to make it worse.

The images are fine as long as we don't get too crazy with them, but what is up with this new rule that any write-ups complaining about George W. Bush can be Cooled twice? I know we're a friendly bunch of Bush-haters here (and I don't like him much myself) but come on! It goes against the very principle of the Ching! It makes it meaningless! The double cool, it's like putting double icing on a cake. Well, that's not a good analogy, that sounds quite tasty actually. But the point is, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

Another thing that really troubles me is allowing erotica - but only if it's about jessicapierce. I mean, I thought that hot ass thing was just an old, dead meme. Why drag it out again and then multiply it a hundredfold? I thought that this great writing community had a certain level of decency. Allowing that smut will make us just like Wikipedia in no time!

Another new rule I really have trouble with is making all new users refer to borgo only as "Daddy-kins" and that their first twelve write-ups have to be about how "awesome" his "junk" is. I don't even want to begin to speculate on what "junk" means here but I think I might know. And it's just soooo wrong it's almost beyond contemplation. Aren't there already enough write-ups here about your "junk" borgo? I mean seriously.

Now, those items I can almost tolerate. If I really twist my mind up they almost make sense. But this next one I'm going to talk about really just boggles my mind. If we want to attract new users, this new "Mr. Belvedere" clause will most definitely not help do it. I mean, now to get to Level 2 the user must live with nate for three weeks and do all his cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping? All while speaking in a British accent (if he or she not already British) and every thirty minutes the user must exclaim "Wesleeeeey!" no matter what the user is in the middle of doing. The rule where they must write about the experience in a daylog every night will promote more practice at writing, but the rest of it just makes no sense at all.

There a litany of other things that The Powers That Be are proposing that I have a real problem with:

• Automatically Cooling all new Halspal write-ups is just completely unfair!
• grundoon's idea... it's just... just... unspeakable! I mean... you're married for god's sake!
• LordBrawl, this whole thing with the polar bears is really confusing to me, you'll have to explain it again.
• Mandatory Nodermeets once a year to Antarctica is just right out! I know you like it there, iceowl, but come on!
• BreakDanceQuest 2008: Do I even need to go into this one?
• And, kthejoker, making all new users spend one night in your Dungeon of Pain with Mistress Carla, I cannot even begin to tell you guys how wrong this is!
• And Jet-Poop, have you lost your mind?? Buttered ferrets?? Think of the children!!

I think I have made my case very clear to anybody with even just a shred of sanity left. E2 is taking a drive down Crazylane - with the windows down - so let me out at the next stop! Personally, I want no part of it!

Thank you.

Seriously, Jet-Poop... the children!

Huzzah! For once again the big arguments and debates and shoutings have come again to Everything2. I'm actually growing used to sitting back and watching you guys battle with just words.

Generally when these sorts of arguments roll along I sit in the corner with my fingers in my ears gently yelling "La la la...". I don't care. The decision is gonna be made with or without my input. This place will change. It always is. I just roll with it.

However I'm taking my fingers out of my ears for a brief moment in time to address a view point that's been expressed- the idea that adding different forms of media is going to affect the quality of work on E2.

What. The. Fuck?

Please scroll up to the top of this site for just a moment. Look. Look at that title. Does it not read: Elite-neo-fascist-liberal-hippie-wanker-writer commune?

This is E2. You guys know quality. I've read things here that have moved me, that have filled me with sheer wonder and awe. If crap is a-coming here in different forms, then you know what to do. It'll be put to the flame before the day is out if it's really that bad.

Perhaps people fear the problem lies in the influx of new users who will bring with them unearned bullshit. To put it bluntly they'll probably be put to the flame as well.

/me puts fingers back in ears