July 17, 2001

Today two of my co-workers were out of town. Since there are 3 of us, my load increase significantly. I enjoy them being gone (it is quieter), but there is so much to do I hope they hurry back

Everyone at work seems to be moving [from one apartment to another). There have been a lot a recent vacations, and people seem to be taking off early enough to catch a little sun.

Another couple of pharmacy robberies related to Oxycontin were reported in tonight's news. How sad.

I am hugely surprised by the Massachusetts excise tax bill I received on my truck. Ouch, all in one painful chunk. And I was irked when I found that under MA law, Brookline gets the money. I am tempted to let my insurance company and Cambridge know that my truck is usually [parked in Cambridge, so shouldn't Cambridge get my excise tax?

must sleep....

I find myself sitting at George, who is now online through our nifty little linux network to the cable modem. Sweet blazing glory, the curse is lifted. Now the plans can unfurl like a roll of toilet paper on All Hallows Eve.
My first day at my new job. I think I finally found something I'm going to enjoy, and be paid well to do so. We make window treatments, from wound fibers of all colors. We wind the fibers around polyfoam strands, of thickness from about a 1/2" to over an inch, on a lathe setup. Then once the strands are done (with color [blends, bumps, and other effects), we affix them to cornices built specificaly for the customers windows. The shop is small, the owners and cool, and the attitude geared to stress free productivity. The co workers seem cool, at least they smoke, and it's in a nice area. Just in time, some big bills looming. Wish me luck.
Randy heads out of town tomorrow night for a day or so. It will be nice to have this place alone, for the first time. Nit that I can take advantage of it yet (besides running around naked reciting shakespearan verse).
Got the invite to CT from that girl I met there, heretofore known as Lilah. Should be fun, could use a friend from the old country (CT). Speaking of old friends, I think I shall drop in on Baltimore in two weekends to reclaim my stuff that I'm sure is gathering dust and bad karma. I need my paints. I need my memories back.
When I went back to Connecticut this weekend, I saw the for sale sign leaning against the pool deck. Guess my mom took it down for my arrival. Nice of her. If she doesn't get remortaged in a few weeks, she loses the homestead. Putting it up for sale is a stall tatic, but she remains blissfully optimistic. I remain thinking I need to get my stuff out of there before they lock it up. Wish her luck.
Moral lesson for the day-yielding right of way in traffic is better karma than stomping on the gas pedal and staring blankly ahead.

I was noticing you across the room all night. It was a Saturday, and we met at an art gallery. You caught my eye immediately. You were beautiful. I loved your style. You had grace. Your smile made my heart ache. But I didn't have the courage to go and talk to you.

But then, later, we met outside. I introduced myself and told you how pretty I thought you were, and how I had been noticing you all night. Then I found out you had noticed me too. It was the happiest moment I can recall in recent memory. And the situation was made even better by the fact that we got along really, really well.

But you had to leave, so I walked you to your car. We exchanged phone numbers. We kissed... Then we kissed some more. Your lips were so soft and gentle, caressing mine. It was fantasic.

But I lost your number... I don't know how it happened. You were standing right next to me as I put your number into my cellphone. I must have not hit "save". So I'm hoping you'll call me. I'm sending out my energy to you, hoping you'll pick up on it. I'm searching for your number every way I know how, but you're just not there. I want you to call, but I know you won't. Because you're a girl, I'm a boy, and we met at a party. And girls won't call boys that they meet at parties when they exchange numbers. They wait for the boy to call first. So I may never see you again.

Tonight, I'll be dreaming about you. And trying to find my way into your dreams. Hoping you'll call. I think we might have had something special. But I'll never know, I'll only be left with your memory. 25 extremely short minutes of joy. Because I lost your phone number.

I had to get to work at 6am this morning. *groan* It's so difficult in winter: I truly can't stand the cold weather. And cold for me is warm for everyone else! It's a side effect of being raised in the tropics. I can quite easily stand 30 to 40 Celsius, but once it drops below 18C my teeth are chattering and my fingers are numb.

6am isn't a bad time to be awake, all things considered. This morning was very, very clear: I could see the crescent moon brightly and crisply, and all the stars were hard pinpricks of light in the blue-black sky. For once, there was no ever-present smog haze on the horizon and every thing had a hard, defined edge to it. It made for a good start to the day.

Work was, as always, an exercise in staying awake for 8 hours. Thankfully, getting in at 6am means leaving again at 2pm and on this occasion missing the fire-drill everyone experienced at 2:30pm.

I spent half my time wondering why I was wasting my time at this place, and the other half scared about moving on to other things. I keep thinking of the things I'll miss: cheap flights, relaxed working hours, an easygoing boss. But that's not the way to live your life. I'm slowly coming to the realisation that if you count up what you're going to lose without looking at what you can gain, you'll always end up in a rut. You'll only make safe, calculated leaps, and things will never move forward in any area of your life.

Of course, the opposite is also true. I've made some pretty wild leaps in my life, and at least one of them has ended in me hitting the ground face first at a high rate of knots. Something I'm not eager to repeat.

I broke up with my girlfriend this weekend and then 18 years later I realized that no one would care.

OK, this might seem a little odd, but I had been swimming in the IRC during the weekend, and something got stuck in my head: Feed me!.

While pestering the IRC bots for files, I really wanted to yell at them feed me! -- of course, it would not have helped. But the image of the Cookie Monster kept popping up in my head. A blue, furry, wide-mouthed, hungry, muppet. I guess next time, I should get some more sleep, eh?

Talking about feeding, I've been having thoughts about what kinds of foods can be used as flavoring in ice cream. This is not a simple as it seems! Freezing tends to weaken the taste of most foods. Ever tried eating chocolate that was meant to be used in ice cream? And I'm talking about the professional stuff, not the home-made stuff. That chocoalte is powerful. Almost pure cocoa. And as a big lover of caramel, I gotta say that eating the caramel meant to be used in frozen products (including frozen snack-bars) -- it's an experience. You can almost feel the sugar doing damage to your teeth.

Well its not even my birthday, and I've already gotten hell. My department took me to Shoney's and everything was going great during the festivities, until... out of the blue, I heard clapping.

I was cussing to the beat of those hands... They came clapping around me leaving me throughly embarassed as it's supposed to do. I'm so glad that we didnt go to Hooters, I would have had to dance of the friggin table.

Oh well, I guess it's just getting me ready for tommorow, when my real b-day comes around.

I don’t know what to do…. I mean I love my friends sometimes, but I can’t stand being with them.

It’s like this, we are a group, 8 of us, if you call one guy to go out, it’s usually pretty obvious everyone will be or should be asked…

But I don’t like everybody anymore; sometimes I’m not sure I even like anybody. We all talk on the phone to each other at least 5 times a week, some of us more than others; I have daily talks with about 3 of them, everyday, for sure.

Anyways, I had a big fight with most of them a few months ago (Warning, traveling with friends can break friendships, even if you have been told 6000 times and don’t believe it) I settled it with this one girl, and sort of ignore it with these other two guys…. But I still really can’t stand this couple left…

They are nice, but I think they really don’t think highly of me, and don’t respect me much, I just don’t like being around them… sometimes I try to avoid them sometimes I try to get closer.

No matter what I do, “he” always sooner or later comes out with something mean to say, and “she” is just a tad conceited (to everyone, not just to me I think).

I just don’t like hanging out with them… it messes with my mood, I go out to feel good, not to come back and whine on the web about it.

I think I need new friends. I KNOW I need new friends… I just can’t find any I’d like to see daily.

Any ideas?