Happy Birthday to me. I am 43 today.

I've been mostly still staying home, unsurprisingly.

I did take a trip home two weeks ago, running back to try and make sure everyone was okay. It was a good trip, but not a fun trip. I was fortunate that I was able to go: everyone was vaccinated, and I had the time and resources to be able to spend two weeks with friends and family. Everyone was dealing with their own trauma and their own problems, magnified by the tumultuous milieu of the last 17 or so months.

There have been losses and struggles and existential threats. We are trying our best to hold it together, even when our best isn't quite enough.

Everything else is in stasis, waiting to see what the future will look like. So much is unknown and unknowable. I'm trying to remember to be flexible, and take things one at a time instead of letting my brain wind around all of the possible scenarios. Eventually the feelings will catch up with my brain, right?

Here's to hoping for an end of the year that looks a little better than things look right now.

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