This node will serve, now and forever, as the definitive record of incidences up to year 2010
in which Jennifer Aniston
has kissed (or been kissed by) girls, onscreen, in a true liplock
(and so, not merely a peck
on the cheek
). For the record, we don't think that Jennifer Aniston is particularly the hottest girl on the block. If she and Jay Leno
had a baby
, it would be a chin
. But, who are we kidding, we'd still try to get to first base
with her -- like these ladies did....
Winona Ryder and Lisa Kudrow
No, not a threesome
; the first instance is a twofer
-- the Friends
episode, "The One with Rachel's Big Kiss," airdate
April 26, 2001. Aniston's character, Rachel, is visited by her college sorority sister, Melissa (played by Winona Ryder
, who was once engaged to Johnny Depp
.... who was in Benny & Joon
with William H. Macy
, who was in Murder in the First
with.... Kevin Bacon
!! But then, Aniston was in the stupendously forgettable Picture Perfect
with Bacon, so we really don't need to go through the sixth degree
to get there (although neither Depp nor Ryder have shared silver screen
time with Bacon).
But I digress
. In the episode, Melissa's visit stirs memories in Rachel of a passionate kiss the two once shared under cover of collegiate inebriation
. Rachel brags
to Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow
) of the smooch, as evidence of her wild youth, but Phoebe seems to dismiss the event, and worse yet, Melissa denies that it ever happened. Finally, Rachel's frustration
overtakes her, and she grabs Melissa and plants a lengthy pucker, shown from several angles. Melissa gasps with delight
, convinced that Rachel love
s her, and spills forth with how she has nursed the memory
of that kiss for all these years.
Rachel quickly backs off, insisting that she's just a good kisser, but meant no love. And poor Melissa plays it too late like, oh, she was just kidding, she doesn't really
think about that kiss all the time, and it's not like, whenever she makes love
to her boyfriend
, she pictures Rachel's face.
But did I say this was a twofer? Shrugging off the whole incident to Phoebe, Rachel is then surprised when Phoebe grabs her and plants a lingering kiss on her -- just to "see what all the fuss
Surprise, the Courtney Cox
kiss didn't even happen in a Friends
episode. Instead, it was dreamt up as a rating gimmick in the March 27, 2007 season finale
of Cox's later series, Dirt
-- where Cox starred as gossip writer Lucy Spiller. Aniston guest starred as Spiller's one-time (okay, four-time) lesbian fling Tina Harrod (who happens to edit a competing rag, and may be gunning for Spiller's job). The episode was called Ita Missa Est
The kiss was actually a pretty dull affair (surely not the sizzler we all imagined in that Friends
episode ("The One With All The Haste") where Aniston and Cox kiss for a full minute -- off camera -- to win their apartment
back from the guy friends who had won it in a bet). The producers did their best to drag it on by having a male co-worker catch the event, camera whirling from his pleasant astoundment back to the slow motion
face-pressing, with fluffy-cloud music enveloping the scene. Ah, but to no great avail. The episode is actually more exciting later on when Spiller is stabbed by the crazed recently ex-girlfriend of her current male
Rumors had Aniston coming back for a steamier second round later in the year (during the next season), but then there was a writer's strike
. And then the season was canceled. End of story.
Awwww shit, yo! Definitely the sexiest
kiss (and the only one not being played for outright laughs) comes in the 2001 movie Rock Star
, where Aniston plays the love interest to Mark Wahlberg
's shooting star rocker. Yes, we went out of time-order here, and yes, 2001 was a busy girl-kissing year for little Ms. Aniston.
In this one, she's dancing with her man to some sultry rock 'n roll
at a party (where everyone is either coked up or something like it). Suddenly Dagmara Dominczyk
, in a cameo
, slithers into the picture with snake
, and puts a tender, open-mouth lip-lock on Aniston. No words are exchanged between them; they kiss as strangers
, silently, and then Dominczyk saunters away, just as silently and slinkily. Aniston is left giving a bewildered look to an obviously aesthetically appreciative Wahlberg.
Naturally, these collected kisses are packaged together in a single convenient YouTube vid
, act now for free delivery. Opinion
s may vary (and everybody's got one
), but we think that Winona Ryder was the hottest girl to be kissed by Aniston. Sure, Dominczyk is a supermodel
and all that bullshit
, but as much as she slut
ted it up in that smooch, she just wasn't working the genuine hotness and joy of pent-up lust for a lesbian life that Ryder pulled off with stunning ability in her oh-too-short moment of girl-on-girl mouth-to-mouth bliss.
But, naturally, the kiss we'd really
like to see is between Aniston and Angelina Jolie
-- just to bury the hatchet
, you know. Or between Ryder and Jolie. That would be good too.