January 5, 2004

The Week in Review.

We sit across from each other in a bar. I steal a quick glance, then look away. I feel his eyes resting on me and growl at him.

"What? What is it?"

He smiles.

"You're beautiful."

I look down at the table, struck silent. Quite an achievement, actually.
I'd call him a liar, but I've learned from experience that that never works. I feel my face heat and gulp down my wine. He smiles again.
I reach over and poke him.

"Ow!"

I grin.

---

He sits at his computer, concentrating on the information crawling across the screen. I sit next to him and trace the lines of his face into my sketchbook. He looks at me and I smile. I present my work to him and he gives me a look.

"Remind me never to sit next to a bored artist ever again."

I bow. He laughs.

---

We sit next to each other on the subway. I reach over to tickle him, watching him yelp, then wriggle like a stranded fish.

"Stop it, please!" he begs.

Reluctantly, I pull my hands away. He shoots me a sideways look. I smile, saccharine-sweet. He shoots me another look. I very carefully put my hands in my pockets.

---

We sit across from each other in a bar, both on our way to being very drunk.

"Evil girl."

"Who, me?" I arch a single eyebrow, then grin. "Thank you."

I feel his eyes settle upon my breasts. I cradle them in my arms, forcing them together, then wait until he looks up.

"Evil girl."

I smile into my beer, and we keep on talking into the night.

---

An inch of pale skin shows above the waistline of his pants. My eyes creep towards it, and evil thoughts abound. My fingers itch to move forward. I hesitate, then pull back. He turns to stare at me. I flash him a look of injured innocence. Neither of us is fooled.

---

I see him lying there, cradling her against him. I want to touch him, to feel his skin stretched tight underneath my hands. He arches his back a little, and I watch. A pause. He turns to me again, but I stare at the TV screen, seemingly enthralled. He settles back, her lying in his lap. He runs his fingers through her hair. I watch.

I must just say that I am rather pleased that the rumours about professors marking really really easy for 4th year Engineering Courses are true.

At least, in the Mechanical Engineering department at the University of Calgary.

---

I must say, I was worried about failing my Feedback Controls course. It was hard. The fact that our prof for the subject the year before sucked, and we really went over little of the material that our prof this year expected us to know, didn't help all that much. The fact that the textbook was mostly useless didn't help. The fact that the prof was boring and the class was early and I tended to fall asleep, when I went, didn't help.

I think I had something like a 60% going into the final, which was worth 40%, and quite frankly I didn't know all that much going into it. I had been hoping to do fairly well in part marks. You know, not getting the question quite right, but getting enough of the steps correct that you get some marks.

So of course, unlike previous years, the final is all multiple choice. And not that good kind of multiple choice where you can narrow down your options. Most of it was straight numerical, so if your answer didn't match a choice exactly, it was a blind guess.

Needless to say, I was a bit worried when I came out of that test. I would say that I was only confident of being right on about 15 of the 40 answers. Failing this course would really suck. Would mean delaying graduation for 8 months, for one freakin’ class. Any other of the classes I'm taking this semester, I can make up next semester, but unfortunately not this one.

So fast forward to me finding my grades out the other day.

On the final, I got 24 out of 40, which brought my final grade up to a 65%. Normally, I'd expect that to be around a C-, maybe a C if you're lucky.

Instead, after being curved all to hell, it somehow got changed into a B.

So, amongst other things, this means that I haven't completely fucked over my chances of getting into grad school, like I had assumed had happened. Fuckin' A

---

As for what else is going on in my life, I got me an XBOX for Xmas. Well, technically I got it on Boxing Day. Man were the stores busy that day. At one of the Best Buys in Edmonton the lineup for the register was at least an hour and a half long. But anyways, I've been playing a whole *lot* of Grand Theft Auto and Splinter Cell lately. This will happen when you have new toys and essentially nothing to do for the next two weeks. Not to mention that the pretty young blonde that I'm currently attempting to woo is in the Dominican Republic for till next week.

Still, looking forward to getting back to class, because let's face it, you can only play so many video games.

Ok, this is my first entry in the daylog. Hmph. Well, here I am sending my eldest daughter off to school and getting myself ready for work at the same time. I am looking forward to a fun filled day of dealing with Catering, ordering food for next week's banquets, and avoiding the politics of brutality that reign at the Daily Banquet Event Meeting.

Should be a blast.

My incoherent rambling for the day or How to Punish a Masochist

Pain clearly will not work. For a masochist, pain is a reward. So, no paddling, no caning, and no whipping. Reserve those things for fun later when your masochistic submissive is behaving. So what can we do? Humiliation seems to work well for some. Make her wear a butt plug to the grocery store and keep tapping it. Pager vibrators work well too. Of course if she enjoys such things, it won’t work as a punishment. Or you could ignore her. She probably just wants you attention anyway. Don’t give it unless you want a repeat of the misdeed. Maybe your masochist can be punished with just an expression of disapproval and disappointment. Even though she is a masochist, she’s your submissive too. If she doesn’t want to please, why is she a submissive? So, tell her your disappointed in her behavior. Give her ‘the Look’ and a sad shake of your head. Maybe that will be enough. You could isolate her. Send her to her room and make her write lines. I’ve found it to be extremely effective. It gives her time to think (something she probably didn’t do before she misbehaved).

a note:These are just things from my experience as a masochistic submissive that have worked on me. Please don’t take this as instruction or a suggestion. Every submissive is different and what works for one, may not work on another.

I was just thinking about how little things can get blown out of proportion and how suddenly when you didn't realize you'd made a mistake, you're in deeper trouble than you know how to get out of. You look at the Mistress' stern face and know that nothing you can say will make her forget that you were defiant. You want to plead with her but she just shakes her head sadly. Too late for appoligies. Go to your room and stay there untiI tell you to come out. What happened to a good old fashion paddling when you misbehaved? A paddling would be nice. A good feeling. Instead you're being sent away from your beloved Mistress. She doesn't even want to look at you. You've really messed up now. You go to you're room, a tear sliding down your face, thoughts muddled and sad.