I dreamed a dream. It was of her. We were kissing, just kissing. We were in a Home Depot and dressed as employees. I made a stupid joke about how we were getting paid for this.

I woke up, and I desperately tried to fall back asleep and fall into the dream.

It didn’t work. My next sleep was dreamless.

I want to sleep with her.

Suddenly my television was a microwave – this was a subtle hallucination, nothing else had been affected. Maybe there was a touch of synesthesia, but I was beginning to think there is a always a touch of synesthesia. Surely though the candles near the television had begun to melt - slowly, and from the sides rather than the top. The screen was glowing orange, and breathing in waves, with more and less intensity. I expected it to ding as the popcorn finished.

I stepped closer to examine it, and noticed what had previously been the Power button now said Stop Time. I wanted to cry. The button that used to be a running joke, was now a horrifying prospect. I closed my eyes to press the button, slowly inching my finger forward. Despite my severe anxiety, I felt I had to push it - if I didn't stop time then perhaps someone else would. I would be trapped forever in a useless moment, while someone else walked through a sea of frozen housewives and screaming children. They would be trapped forever without another button to begin the infinite ticking anew. They would be trapped without the ability to let thousands of orgasms and sneezes across the continents finish in exhausted spasms.

With that self-imposed duty and sacrifice, I pushed the button, and Spongebob Squarepants screamed out from the blaring television.

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