I feel better when I write. I need to remember this. And I need to
remember that habits don't change overnight either. Yesterday I went to
the library after my therapy session. For the first time ever I didn't
cry when I was sitting in my therapist's office. She talked about her
dream of opening a healing retreat, and after telling me about a two
hour reflexology session she enjoyed several years ago in Arkansas she
mentioned that she was going to give up her license when she retired,
and if this retreat ever became a reality, she would hire me to be her
foot and shoe person. We talked about exercise, she's a big believer in
it, she wants to go to a three week tai chi experience in central
China, and I hope she goes because I'd love to hear what she brings back
from that.
We talked about me moving out, and my new business. I got to brag
about a few things I've accomplished there, only it isn't really
bragging because I am proud of what I'm doing and who I'm talking to
about some of my ideas. When I was down in Dallas I got a message on
Twitter from someone who follows me. Earlier that week this person had
sent me a request to connect on LinkedIn, and I've heard others
complain that's it really doesn't accomplish anything, but I use it to
learn more about people I know from sites like E2, and Twitter. Most of
the time the friendship or relationship comes first, and then I find out
what these people do in real life, but occasionally I'll get a request
out of the blue.
When I read about the guy who sent me the message I was like, wow,
what a cool job. Then I saw the message and I think I read it at least
ten times before I accepted it as real. My conversation with him lasted
about an hour, and it was illuminating to say the least. He gave me some
homework which turned out to be really mind blowing as he wanted me to
watch and episode of Eastbound and Down. For those who were just as
clueless as I was, the main character is a stereotypical ball player who
was once great, but is now playing for a team that isn't quite as
glorious as those he was formerly with. His velocity has dropped along
with his salary, and he goes through life blaming other people while
consuming mass quantities of drugs, alcohol, and pussy.
During my stints at other companies, I would have pursued
opportunities relentlessly. Sunday afternoon there was a fan fest I
could have gone to right here in Milwaukee. It would have put me in
touch with players and coaches, and made good business sense, but I
decided not to go, and I have no regrets. After talking with my
therapist, she said that I needed to write some of these things down, I
write all the time, but this is something new for me, and I'm not always
sure how to go about it, and as I mentioned yesterday, the emotions
have a way of surfacing and interfering. I have trouble putting names on
what I'm feeling, so I'm trying to work on that as well by going to the
wheel of emotions, and labeling mine.
Yesterday I didn't write any fiction. I feel good about that too
because it gave me time to think about my next scene, who I want to be
in it, what's going to happen next, where am I taking this people, that
sort of thing. I didn't have as much time to sit around as I normally
do, that was good for me too despite the cold, I felt great when I
walked out of my therapy appointment. I picked up quite a few
interesting books at the library, I thought that Blue Ginger would be
my favorite, but last night we adapted a recipe from The Japanese
Kitchen, by Hiroko Shimbo, and I think that book might be one I end up
buying.
My therapist and I discussed Ayurvedic principles, and as far as a
food plan, this makes sense to me as a whole life approach to food. The
Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioner that I see talked to me for
quite some time about the difference between Lebanese food and Indian
food, he's very adventuresome when it comes to food, and I just love how
simple he makes things because he has formidable intelligence, and
could easily start talking way over my head. He warned me that unless
going to the chiropractor accompanied lifestyle change I would end up
stuck in a cyclical pattern where I was dependent on adjustments to get
through the rest of my life.
The chiropractor I see is a former sailor, and I really like him
although I can see how others would be turned off by him. Like my
acupuncture guy he isn't warm and fuzzy, but that isn't really what I
need from someone who has their hand on my hip. Since therapy had gone
so well, I was really unprepared for the tears that welled up when he
started talking to me about the way that my mind worked and who I was as
a person. He wants me to start running again. I've told him about the
soft tissue damage on my left foot, but he thinks that I can do some
things to work with it, and I'll feel better just getting outside and
having that time to myself. Running used to be a great stress reliever
for me once I learned more about how to work with the body that I have
which is not shaped to run quickly.
There's more I'd like to write, so I'm filing the end of this under
Unfinished Business. Thanks for reading, and being a part of this road to understanding myself.