Well it's just a few more hours until my birthday. Forgive my early entry here, but I'm not sure how much time I'll have on the computer tomorrow. I turn 31 on 21 Jan 2001. I'm not given to do much reflecting, but I am hoping I'll use the occasion of my birthday to kick-start a few New Year's resolutions which haven't been too successful the past 20 days.

The biggest thing is to stop procrastinating. I spend way too much time frivolously surfing the web (present company excepted) and watching TV, when I really should be working. I'll have to buy the books mentioned in: tips for overcoming procrastination. Monday is the first working day of my fourth decade on this here rock, and it's time to grow up. What do you think?

I think the coolest thing about being 31 is that I am 11111 years old in binary.

This concludes my foray into the day logs.

Everything Snapshot

Time: Sun, 21 Jan 2001 00:19:59 GMT
Everything server: Apache/1.3.9 (Unix) Debian/GNU mod_ssl/2.4.10 OpenSSL/0.9.4 mod_perl/1.21_03-dev

Number of nodes: 804162 (1076 new since January 20, 2001 [779.9 wa7])
Number of users: 23938 (121 new since January 20, 2001 [95.3 wa7])
Number of links: 3268996 (12483 new since January 20, 2001 [10561.2 wa7])
Number of writeups: 445939 (564 new since January 20, 2001 [395.1 wa7])
Number of cools: 57497 (156 new since January 20, 2001 [179.8 wa7])
Number of votes: 1823528 (6773 new since January 20, 2001 [7468.2 wa7])
Number of hits: 30477582 (131847 new since January 20, 2001 [142577.8 wa7])

Node to user ratio: 33.594 nodes per user
Link to node ratio: 4.065 links per node
Link to user ratio: 136.561 links per user
Link to writeup ratio: 7.331 links per writeup
Votes to cools ratio: 31.715 votes per cool
Cools to user ratio: 2.402 cools per user
Hits to user ratio: 1273.188 hits per user

New Nodes: [vicious cycle] [Binky] [Monks who walk through walls] [Editor Log: January 21, 2001] [January 20, 2001] [The Book of Lies: Chapter 4] [we CAN walk through walls since we're only 0.01% substance] [depression] [nhhth] [Server Time] [Blunderbuss] [GloRoach] [depression] [George W. Bush Metanode] [What Would Judas Do?]

Users Online (58): [Sylvar] [Templeton] [Gamaliel] [Dis] [anotherone] [Rancid_Pickle] [--OutpostMir--] [bob the cow] [pealco] [psydereal] [Demeter] [Jinmyo] [WWWWolf] [m_turner] [melodrame] [Gorgonzola] [booyaa] [FelonyMPulse] [wh00t] [ccunning] [Infinite Burn] [narzos] [TheNastyCanasty] [DJuxtaposition] [witchiepoo] [WonkoDSane] [Accipiter] [dwyn] [Modnar] [Aresds] [generosity] [lemuru] [tres equis] [clampe] [Gritchka] [martin] [RalphyK] [GirlsDontLikeMe] [Pakaran] [pfft] [Pantsless Bob] [chanbara] [iandunn] [quantumet] [barmaid] [sakke] [Sirius] [Tauress] [Amadeo] [eponymous] [PeterPan] [pvb] [sid] [singbat] [emoin] [pimephalis] [goalpost] [thopkins]

JeffMagnus node count: 4089 (-1 new since January 20, 2001)
JeffMagnus experience: 11622 (2 more since January 20, 2001)
JeffMagnus experience to node ratio: 2.842 XP per node
JeffMagnus nodeshare: 0.509% (Via alternate method: 0.917%)*
JeffMagnus node of the day: Windows Error Lookup Guide

Note: The Everything Snapshot daylog will return as soon as I work out one that is more pleasant for members of the Everything Whino sect.

02:37

Scene: Graveyard. Middle of the night.

A figure moves in the night...

Random passer-by: "What art thou looking for, oh restless soul?"

The figure: "Got any noding ideas?"

Well, I've been noding this and that since the last daylog - I decided to take a break from most of the "social stuff" yesterday mostly because my head hurted like hell - it still does a bit...

Well, yesterday's great news: I now have a baby E2 under my belt. =) Yes, me too. Isn't it great?

I already promised in IRC I won't make a clone of EDB... in fact, I'm disallowing creation of new user accounts unless there's a reason.

I plan to use it for organising my website and thoughts better... it has great potential for that, as you may know.

(Hey ya 3133t n8t d00d????=?= I know MySQL is fast and all that, but PostgreSQL is my choice because MySQL doesn't exactly have a reputation of being a rock-solid RDBMS... Any chance 1.0 will run on PostgreSQL too? =) Or for anyone else out there, has anyone managed to get it run on Postgres - I hate to keep two different RDBMSes up...?

03:17

Sweet dreams, E2... Tomorrow, another day, another night, but remember, node or die. Muhahahahaha.

12:44

Gooooooooooooooooooooooood afternoon, E2! =)

I'm more than happy. Yes, I got come ideas on What To Do Today last night...

World is a Nice Place.

Now, let's see how Usenet is behaving...

15:04

There is clearly something wrong with my programming skills...

181k   everything-0.9.1.0.tar.gz
228k   yiffcam-0.0.tar.gz

Gee, I suck. =) I mean, my program is just a Perl script that glues existing grabbing program and a Web server togheter (and even that is fancy way of putting it), and Everything is a huge, mythical web-based information storage and retrieval system. And my script shit is bigger than that!

21:33

I twhacked the YiffCam code around a bit, and the adminstration stuff starts to shape up...

...still FAR from pretty, though.


Other day logs o' mine...

Noded recently & today by y.t.: Lupinething Virtual Boy Diddy Kong Y2K

Updated: ...about a million... I would like to be an Everything 2 Editor (That one has been there for a loooong time now =)

Nukerequested: Couple of crap nodes, couple of E1 writeups that were surpassed by That Webster d00d.

Girl (to me): Why are you even talking? No one's even listening to you.

Went to Mexico today with some so called "friends". It was our old guitarist Zeff, his girlfriend Mindy, my cousin Rolie, my friend Dayton, and myself. We went to hang out and have fun, I didn't have much. Mindy said that to me, I was fine until she said it. I have never been one who was ever taken seriously, I didn't even know this girl enough for her to even mouth the words to me. I can take shit from people I somewhat know, but I did not know this girl. I kept my mouth shut the rest of the night. Some of them drank, I didn't. I don't drink, I hate beer. What made it worse was when Zeff was trying to get me happy again.

Zeff: Come on R.J. Whats better? Being happy or sad?
Me: Sad.
Zeff: Well then fuck off.

Fuck this, I have too much shit in my head to be listening to this, I drove Dayton, therefore I lost Zeff, Mindy, and Rolie driving back from Mexico. I didn't need to put up with that shit anymore, I didn't enjoy my stay and I will never go back to Mexico in that manner, never.

I remembered something funny in the midst of crappy memories. (A quick bit of background: my ex may or may not have had borderline personality disorder (BPD). Anyhow, I joined this e-mail discussion group called Welcome to Oz, a group of people who have or had someone in their life diagnosed with BPD.)

The e-mails in the Welcome to Oz discussion group, especially from those who decided to "stick it out" with their significant other who has BPD, commonly used a term that still strikes me as hilarious:

I'm sure lots of people have experienced some of this and/or one of these:

relationshit

I woke up to screaming today. That's no fun. And I went out of my room to see a long trail of blood in the hallway. I was beginning to really freak out and scream too, and my mother soon joined in the screaming. My dad came out of my parents' bedroom too, but didn't join in the screaming. We followed the trail to the bathroom, and my brother was there, holding his bloody foot, which was dripping water and blood on the floor. He happened to step on a tack. It went into his heel, ALL THE WAY IN. That was scary. At least we all stopped screaming. It wasn't as bad as in The Shining, but it was a pretty horrible way to wake up.

What a way to start a Sunday. Of course, no one went back to sleep, so we had an early breakfast. That was nice, for a change, eating withh al the family a really good breakfast. I guess it took getting a tack into my brother's foot to get us all having breakfast together. In every cloud there is a silver lining.

Alright, this is the first daylog I've done. And only now because I need to vent.
That having been said, I hate my life right now. I dont feel some distaste for it, I hate it. This is how my day went today:
I woke up at 6. Realized I didnt have to, went back to sleep. Woke when I had to.
I went to work from noon to six. Didnt get one of my breaks and had to shorten the other. Child labor laws were ignored.
I went back home. I found a bruise on the side of my foot. It hurts when I walk now. Then, I took a shower.
At 8, my boyfriend calls. He says we're gonna do something and he'll call me after his shower. He calls back (about 8:25) and says he and a friend (Joe) are going to pick me up soon. Eleven o'clock and he is just pulling up.
He comes in and we talk. He and Joe have been having a serious discussion. As it turns out, Joe has been chasing my boyfriend's best friend (Cindy). Joe asked her if she would go out with him. She says she cant because she's in love with my boyfriend. My bf has known her for over 5 years and has, at points, had feelings for her. He's not sure about what he should do.
He's being very straight up with me about this. And he said that he hoped there was nothing for me to worry about. But I cry at anything. I dont know what to do. I am helpless in this situation. Tonite, I cried. Tonite, I threw up. I threw up so I could feel alive. I love my boyfriend and dont want to lose him. I dont know what to do....
I lost two days of my life this weekend, to my ISP, who on two occasions assured me that my ADSL password was what it wasn't. By 7pm tonight I was frustrated almost to the point of tears. Only by swapping out 1s for Is and 0s for Os did I hit the magic combination of keystrokes that once again brought a torrent of sweet sweet TCP, UDP and ICMP back into our home.

Molly, our little dog, has had surgery on her ahem rear-end, and has spent the weekend being spoiled rotten by me and Gemma. She seems to be on the way to a full recovery, poor little thing.

I haven't noded for almost two weeks, being mega busy at work rolling out the vampireware (it sucks the lifeblood out of anyone who comes close), and having to renovate my personal website, now that I'm so close to finishing my current assignment, and therefore all moral requirement to stay at the firm. Dot-coms are crashing daily out here -- time to move on, hopefully to something in open source evangelism. I'm looking forward to doing work that I can believe in again..

I got published!

Mark your calendars -- Wednesday, February 21, 2001, the Universal Press Syndicate crossword puzzle will be my first published crossword. That means you'll probably be able to see it: if not in print, then online.

The Universal Crossword is the most successful online crossword and appears in many of the top sites such as CNN, Excite, Sony, Disney’s Go, Microsoft Network, Netscape, Shockwave and Warner Bros. It is also the exclusive crossword of many top newspaper sites including the Boston Globe, Baltimore Sun, Dallas Morning News, Cincinnati Post, Kansas City Star, Miami Herald, Minneapolis Star-Tribune and hundreds more. The Universal Crossword also appears in several countries, including the United Kingdom, Canada, Malaysia, New Zealand and the Republic of the Philippines.

-- Universal specifications sheet

This is my first publication, which is pretty ironic considering that I've gone to school for 19 years, not including preschool (where I majored in the recess arts, with a thesis titled "mine!"). You'd think I'd get something published in the library trade rags first. But I'm not complaining -- journals don't pay, these guys do.

My recent absence from e2 has been caused by one, violent, horrible, awful _thing_.

Medievia, thats right, Mudding. I am playing a character other than my normal apply-to-all nickname of Shanoyu, using the sacreligious name of Cuxuit.

I finally Got into the fourth class last night, second character i've gotten to three classes but this is the first that i've gotten to the last class.

Name: Cuxuit
Clan: Dark Syndicate (98)
Class: Warrior (CMT)
Level: 12 (105)
Sex: Male
Alignment: -806
Eggs: 0 


Happy happy joy joy!
I guess now I need to re-equip myself though.. Blarg.

Anyway with the advent of me mudding again i'm going to have to not be noding as much, so to apologise i'll node walkthrus of med zones, and if you have a problem with it then you can just um, make me feel bad.. sniff. Look for medievia newbie zone walkthrus comming soon. :P

Anyway not much content in this daylog but I thought i'd let you guys know where i've been.

Dinner was over and I was still hungry. I mentioned to my husband that I had realy been wanting spinach lately.... His eyes shifted from the TV to the couch where I was sitting and sighed with mock patience,

People do not get cravings for SPINACH, popcorn and chips maybe, but NOT spinach!

Well of course now I had to have spinach so I ran up to the grocery store to get the ingredients for spinach soup. It was there I defined some of the distinct differences of my memory problems. One is ordinary every day memory lapses.....Number Two Son had yelled for ice cream as I went out the door, so as it was, it wasn't on my list I thought about it several times, but still managed to forget it. This to me is a normal occurance. The other is something else entirely......I saw fritos and bean dip on sale and grabbed two bags for $3.00.....oh and hubby wanted chili cheese dogs for dinner...he loves the buns made out of potato bread so I splurged and picked those up as well. Now the bean dip and the hot dogs made it home with me, however what became of the chips and buns still remains somewhat of a mystery. I have always shopped by leaving my cart at the end of the aisle and gathering what I wanted in the aisle to carry them back and place it in cart.....it really is much more practical and efficient than fighting my way up and down a crowded aisle with the cart. At any rate I haven't been caught yet, but I do think I have been some kind of grocery cart fairy placing my items in other peoples carts. So someone has gotten home with two bags of fritos and hot dog buns and wondered Now what was I thinking?? As a result of this, I guess you could call it some kind of behavior, I make many trips to the grocery store a week.
It's hard for me to imagine how embarassing this behavior would be for me in a workplace....

Number One Son did run up to the grocery store later on and smuggled fritos into his room, only to be caught by his father and jokingly accused of stealing them, Hah! he said and ran off to his room and produced the receipt only problem was Mom had possesion of the bean dip.

Jesus looked at them and said, "For mortals it is impossible, but for God all things are possible."
- Matthew 19:26 (NRSV)

Devotion

3:44pm

I woke up around 11:30 to go with some friends to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It was great. The fight scenes had some awesome choreography, and the story was very good as well. If you haven't seen it, go!

After the movie, we went to boston market for lunch. I just got back home. I have to go to work at 6pm to restart machines. It's really fucking ridiculous that I have to physically be there to reboot the comptuers. My boss knows a lot about computers, but sometimes he is just really stupid and never takes advantage of some of the conveniences that they are there for.

Anyway, I feel quite tired (still recovering from friday night), so I'm going to go take a nap before work.


1:39am

I'm feeling very lonely. I don't know if it's the music I'm listening to, or if it's that I'm finally facing the fact that I'm now not even lightly involved with anyone. I want so bad to have someone just to sit or lie down with and cuddle. I'm not even interested in sex, just companionship.

Sometimes I wonder if the girl I finally do hook up with will ever find these daylogs and read about how I was before I met her. I can't imagine who she will be, but she's out there now, and I wish that I could find her now so that I could spend as much time as possible with her from this moment on.

Oh well, I have school tomorrow and it's getting late. Good night everyone.

Good night, my love.

It snowed this morning.

Not a lot, probably about a centimetre, enough to make things look nice and wintry for all of an hour before it started to melt and turn to slush.

I was back at the student radio station again today - being trained up to be a duty editor. It seems like a fairly simple task - sit around in the room next to the booth, listening to the output in case anything goes wrong, and I now know what to check if dead air should occur. I'm signed up for Wednesdays, 2 till 5pm.

The first two hours are Bobby Finn's show - he worked, until recently, for Beat 106, a new-ish dance station across Central Scotland, but the new management apparently didn't like him that much. Still, I can't imagine he'll need much assistance in the studio, so I'll hopefully be able to put my feet up or get some work done.

At 4, Time to Drive starts, and according to my schedule it's with Laura, Lisa and Lin. Which could be interesting :) (especially since it's a bit of a squeeze in the booth with even three people)

But I'll stop going on about it now - it doesn't start for over a week yet...

I lost my battle with not smoking today. The pain in my back overcame my hatred of wheezing and I had a cigarette. The justification of this act is based on an excuse, I understand this.

The disappointing thing is that I didn't get a buzz and now my mouth tastes like hot garbage.

I figured out today that sometime in the last month I've become a database disciple and a factual noder. I've figured out that I save all of my bullshit for my day logs. Which I guess isn't bad.

I have one node title running around in my head that must be filled. It deals with my dog and his inner dialogue.

Ugh. No more smoking for me. Ew. Ew.
I beat my dad at chess.

(Okay, so I'm not mentioning that he has beaten me quite a few times now, but it means that I'm starting to get better at it.)
(I'm also thinking that perhaps he let me beat him, or at least took it easy on me so that I wouldn't get disheartened at him beating me so much... but that generally isn't of his nature)

You Can't Earn Your Bullshit

The idea that, with regards to noding on Everything, regardless of what you write and what it means to you, people will measure it on their own bullshit and not yours. Even if it's cool-ass jivin' nonsense, it can get zapped. In fact odds are the stuff you think is full of bullshit which you post will get upvoted, and the stuff you actually care about will get ignored or shut down. There is no rhyme or reason to it, because it's not done on merit or style or taste or seniority. Take a close look at your contributions to Everything so far--do a user-search on yourself. Do you see a pattern? No? Are you surprised? Have you spent the past 3 weeks adding to "getting to know you" nodes? Well good for you! Did people vote them down JUST because they were GTKYs and probably didn't even read them all the way through? Of course! Does that make any sense to you? Why should it? Do you rescue nodeshells? Do you enjoy it? Did your last attempt end up a negative twelve in the reputation department? These are the signs of 1) newbies and 2) people who think the gargantuan list of rules and guidelines and preferences that are hoisted up by the Powers That Be are a bunch of bullshit. But hey. They earned their bullshit didn't they? Or did they? Or did they aquire it by playing by the rules? Coloring inside the lines? Is this how you earn, or is it that you abide by the demands of those in power, and they choose to give you levels of bullshit over a period of time?

The complaint allegedly is that some writeups become unloaded on a slower connection. Tough. That's not going to go away. When someone chooses to add to any node, they do so because they want to. Because they enjoy it. If this were the encyclopedia brittanica we were building in here that would be one thing. It is not. It is an experiment on documenting an amorphous group mind. Who is it that decides what is trash and what is treasure? The Powers That Be? Those who have earned their bullshit? Those who cater to the whims of those who play King of the Hill with the nodegel? You should always add your two cents whether you really need to or not. Where and how you wish. Do Not Pick Titles Carefully. Screw titles. Experiment. Elaborate. Play with them. Test the boundaries. Break down the walls, but most importantly Wear Sunscreen. What if you accidently add a writeup that someone else already wrote? So? "It's redundant," you say. So? There's a lot of redundancies in here already. And y'know what? They can't stop all of us. Oh, they'll stop ME perhaps, but they can't stop you. Not if the YOU gets bigger and bigger.

The best advice to any noder before they click "sumbit" is this: will your writeup be interesting to you in a year? It is interesting to you now? Even the slightest bit? A few people who happen to be online right now will perhaps glance at it and vote it up or down on the merest whim. Maybe you mention tomato soup in your node although it's about something else, and the person who glances at it doesn't like tomato soup. DOWNVOTE. Did you do something wrong? No. THEY did. But of course we can't do anything about that because you can't control how people vote. So earning your bullshit is irrelevant, because the entire voting system is irrelevant. Because the very act of noding is irrelevant to everyone but you. There's absolutely no criteria for anything, except what YOU create for yourself. What THEY tell you is criteria is relevant to them, but it's only relevant to you if you actually care about their little voting system. However their voting system is inaccurate and irrelevant, because the voting is irrelevant. That means they are irrelevant.

So why are you following any rules? Who are you trying to appease? The Powers That Be? An audience that isn't there? Write about noding if it appeals to you. Rant or whisper. It doesn't matter. Quit playing by their rules. Quit expecting other people to play by your rules. Viva Anarchy. Until there is a consistent set of criteria for why people vote, which there never will be, you can't earn your bullshit in here. So play by your own rules and the hell with the lot of them. Write about black in the white node. And then scoff at them as they downvote you.

OR you can play the game. Here's how you play. You make friends with people and then quietly agree to upvote one another's nodes irregardless of content. Network. Be very careful about this. Don't even make it obvious to one another. Cater to the whims of those in here and play the popularity game until you amass a little clique of friends. Upvote them. They'll upvote you so long as you never make waves and are careful not to upset their little vision of what E2 is supposed to be about, and of course we each have our own idea what Everything2 should be. If that's the kinda game you like to play, go right ahead. And so long as you don't talk about it, no one's gonna know. No one can control how you vote or why, so technically there's nothing wrong with it, is there? Or you can just say the hell with them, be anti-social, and post whatever the hell you want. If you wanna play that way, come over here and sit by me.

If you're adding just facts, you're writing stuff that people won't read. If you're adding opinion, like this node, you'll get deleted faster than a cheetah, because it's the spicier stuff that gets noticed. Boring rewrites of encyclopedia entries may get a couple votes one way or another, but probably won't get deleted. They also won't get read unless that person's doing a paper or something. So why are you writing? Just bored? Then it doesn't matter. Actually want to play the XP game? You're reading the wrong node. Wanna see if you can get your XP into the negative digits? Is that even possible? Wanna be caught stirring the snakes? Or maybe you just want to write stuff you can't write anywhere else. Poetry that you can't put anywhere else. Maybe just whatever comes off the top of your head and you don't even care about the title. If you play their game, you should only do it if you enjoy it. If that's what you wanna do.

Just don't think you'll ever earn your bullshit though. They will give it to you in small doses at first and watch how you handle yourself, until they can trust you with larger doses. This is how the mafia operates. This is how little high school valley girl social cliques function. You dress up as they tell you to dress. Say what they tell you to say. Think as they tell you to think. Go where they tell you to go. You don't make waves. You take direction. You adhere to their moral imperatives, and become amoral where it is convenient for them. You put your own identity aside, in favor of a mask that appeals to those around you. So you can increase your nodeshare and popularity among the E2 population.

Or you just be yourself and do what you want and if you happen to one day get accepted by them it'll be by pure chance, because they are not a conspiracy. They're not consciously aware they're a part of the machine, most of them. Perhaps a small number of them are aware and they're the dangerous ones, cuz they consciously and purposefully play the game in order to manipulate initiates and vets alike. Some of us aren't here to play those kinda games. Some of us just want to node what comes to mind. We don't care if it happens to become helpful to someone else. That's a nice side-effect if it happens. The voting system just gets in the way. The rest of the world may disagree with you, but so what? Here's a secret: Node Heaven can believe in reincarnation. What were you really trying to say in that deleted post? Approach it from a refreshing angle, and start again. Odds are, no one will even notice it's a new draft of something that was once killed.

What really makes a solid writeup? You. And you are the most important person here. Don't forget that.

Originally posted to E2 on January 21st 2001, this writeup was an idea that received a reputation of 87 before deletion.

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