Janitor on Planet Analingus
by Andrew Wayne Adams
I have to admit, I enjoy reading Bizarro stories because they always surprise me with something vivid, amusing, and (at times) terrifying. The New Bizarro Author series has delivered all that and more. Like the previous titles in the series, author Andrew Wayne Adams brings his big guns and raises the bar for the next crop of authors.
First, let me say that the publisher did am impressive job. This is not a book shoved through the Smashwords Meatgrinder. The formatting was spot-on, and you can tell the book was hammered properly by a real editor. No glaring problems that rip you out of a story, and there are nice and clever little touches, such as the section breaks showing a tiny janitor with a mop instead of the usual three # or *.
Andrew takes a bizarre subject and makes it transparent. Yes, the imagery flows well, but there's an actual story with all three acts skillfully woven into the strange tapestry. The characters are well-defined, and despite your laughter as you read the crazy situations, you'll find you enjoy the characters, especially Jack, who had to learn how to mop eroticly so he blended in with the non-stop planetary wide orgy of debauchery - with the exception of during Lent.
That's where the book opens. Jack is enjoying his 40-day "vacation" as the only inhabitant, preparing the globe for the hordes of incoming sex fiends. It's another day on the job, until he discovers there's someone else hiding on the planet -- a sexy, hairless woman named Nimue who happens to have helicopter blades that can pop out of a hole in her back. Through all kinds of hijinks, Jack loses his job to an idiot, and he has to solve multiple puzzles, including what's going on and why there's a rocket launcher-weilding maniac who wants to kill Nimue again.
Overall, this book is packed with odd imagery that will make you laugh out loud while you're rooting for Jack to figure everything out. Don't get put off by the title, this is a complete, well-constructed book that you'll secretly enjoy.
Iron Noder 2017