WARNING! SO MANY SPOILERS, YOU'LL PLOTZ! I'M SERIOUS!
Title: Rock of Ages, Part II:
Hostile TakeoverRelease Date: October 1997
Writer: Grant MorrisonPenciller: Howard PorterInker: John DellJLA Members: Superman,
Batman,
the Flash,
Green Lantern,
Aquaman,
the Martian Manhunter,
Green Arrow, and
Aztek.
Guest Stars: Metron,
Plastic Man, and
Robin.
Bad Guys: The
Injustice Gang (
Lex Luthor,
the Joker,
Dr. Light,
Ocean Master,
Mirror Master,
Circe, and
Jemm, Son of Saturn).
So what happens?The "Rock of Ages" saga starts getting
confusing here, kids. Hold on tight...
The Injustice Gang continues their plotting against the Justice League. They
hack into a government teleporter facility and transport a bunch of air into a hard-light
holographic copy of their own satellite, which Superman and the Martian Manhunter go to
investigate. Once they're aboard the fake
satellite, the Joker takes control of the holographic design, turning it into an impossibly
complex maze. In order to
navigate their way through the maze, the Martian Manhunter uses his
shapeshifting abilities to enlarge the
irrational right hemisphere of his brain and shrink the
logical left hemisphere to approximate the Joker's
madness. After that, J'onn, grinning insanely, can easily see the direct way to the end of the maze--but once there, a hidden
bomb blows the fake satellite to pieces...
At the same time, the villains also teleport a bunch of
water onto a town in the
San Fernando Valley, and Green Lantern and Green Arrow rush down to get the
flood under control. They accomplish that task easily, then while taking a short break in a
coffee shop, Circe, in disguise, joins them and tries to plant doubts in their minds about the JLA. Green Lantern gets
suspicious and leaves, but Green Arrow decides to stay and talk to Circe a while longer...
And at about the same time, Flash, Aquaman, and Aztek are surprised by the sudden appearance inside the JLA Watchtower of Metron, one of the
New Gods, who babbles about finding the "
Philosopher's Stone" to save all time and space. Man alive, everyone's gettin' split up here...
Other stuff: Lex Luthor's little heart-shaped
quartz introduced last issue appears to be capable of doing anything its wielder can imagine--if that ain't the Philosopher's Stone that Metron describes, I don't know what is; Batman, in his occasional "
Matches Malone" disguise, goes out seeking the assistance of a guy named
Eel O'Brien (aka Plastic Man); back at the
Batcave, Batman realizes that the JLA actually have a significant advantage in the Injustice Gang's attempted hostile takeover of the Justice League: namely,
Bruce Wayne is a pretty damn good
corporate raider himself...
Like I said, pretty damn
confusing.
Cool Quotes!Lex Luthor, berating the Joker for sabotaging a
memorial service for some children killed in the attack on
Star City: "
Dead children don't seem funny to me, Joker. Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned. Regrettable casualties of our campaign but not
funny..."
Aquaman, on how he learned about part of the Injustice Gang's plot: "I got the story from some
tuna. They perform
fascinating psycho-electric field displays...I know how that sounds but
trust me..."
Batman: "Luthor still has no idea he's dealing with someone who's as familiar with
corporate takeover techniques as he is. Someone who plays the game much better than he does...Bruce Wayne. Let's take him out."
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