I live in Florida
. It’s hot
. Really fucking hot
Growing up with my parents could have been a lot worse. But one of the things in my family that always started a knock-down drag-out fight
. Keep in mind that my parents, like many parents, can always be counted on for the following things:
1) Being tight-fisted when it comes to spending money on electricity
2) Being paranoid
3) Always being too cold.
See, my father grew up in the Caribbean
and I think my mother is cold-blooded
. But I spent my formative years playing in the snow in New Jersey
and only got dragged down here for my teenage angst
period. So while it was paradise
for them, it was purgatory
My parents’ house allegedly has central air
, but the cold air rarely got to my room in the corner of the house. So my parents installed a ceiling fan
, which helped a bit, but my parents tended to turn it off while I was away, so I would come home from school to a hot room.
One day I asked my mother why they always turned off my fan. She said, "We don’t like to leave it on when nobody’s here. Something could happen. It might start a fire
I was nonplussed. "If you think my ceiling fan is going to burst into flames
then TAKE IT OUT OF MY CEILING! I keep it on at night! I don’t want a GIANT SPINNING WHEEL OF FLAMING DEATH
killing me while I sleep!"
Seeing that the logic of her argument was a bit flawed, she then said, "okay, we just turn it off when nobody’s here to save electricity