Over the years (decades?) I've had a lot of experience meeting wonderful women, including women of all shapes, sizes, mass, volume and temporal and mental stabilities.

As a helpful guide, I will attempt to give you advice on how to introduce yourself to a woman who is exceptionally gifted in the mammary region.

  • DO:
    Be confident in yourself. You are meeting an interesting human being, and it is possible that she will find you just as interesting.

  • DON'T:
    Be so slick you leave an oily film behind you.

  • DO:
    Look at her face when talking to her. Avoid staring down her clevage, no matter how much you want to.

  • DON'T:
    Stare at her tits when talking to her. Contrary to popular belief, talking to breasts is dull and boring because they do not talk. If you want to talk to warm, jiggly round objects, go to a hotel room with some water balloons.

  • DO:
    Talk about neutral subjects until you are both comfortable. Ask questions about her, but don't pry. Your initial conversation can set the stage for further communications.

  • DON'T:
    Stare at her tits more and ask if they are real. It does not matter if they're globes of fat, saline solution or silicon, if you stare and ask you can be 99.99% sure you won't get the chance to find out for sure.

  • DO:
    If you have a good sense of humor, use it sparingly at first. If you get positive responses (and they don't sound forced), you can show her how funny you can be. Some folks have different ideas on humor; some prefer dry and others prefer slapstick.

  • DON'T:
    Stare at her tits and say if she gives you a milk moustache you'll give her a moustache ride.

  • DO:
    If you're financially secure, do not flaunt it. Finances will show through with your attire, attitude and confidence.

  • DON'T:
    Stare at her tits and tell her she can get rid of her bra because you'd like to support her now.

  • DO:
    The way to a woman's heart is through the brain. If you make the experience enjoyable, she will look upon you favorably when you ask her out to dinner, dancing or a movie. A woman wants to feel secure, warm and wanted. Wanted does not mean just until she's wrapped around your naked body, wanted means you want to spend time with her to get to know her.

  • DON'T:
    Consider her a life support unit for those wonderous titanic breasts.

  • DO:
    Find common interests and mutual friends. These items can help build groundwork for more illuminating conversation, and mutual friends can help her feel more comfortable around you.

  • DON'T:
    Compare her to mutual friends: "Wow, if Sally had jugs like those I'd have said yes when she wanted to screw me. Too bad she's so ugly, she's not as pretty as you and your tits."

  • DO:
    If she has a boyfriend (or is married/engaged), still do your best to leave with a good impression. Continue the conversation, don't act like you were interested only if she was single.

  • DON'T:
    Say things like, "Oh, your boyfriend is lucky to have tits like that in bed. He interested in a three-way gang bang with you as the star?"

  • DO:
    Be chivalrous. Help her fend off the dorks who want to meet her tits, but don't act like she's your property. Offer to refill her drink, or get her some refreshments. Open the door when she and you go through it. Help her with her coat, and if she is taking a taxi, offer her a ride home. She will most likely decline, so walk her out to the cab to make sure she gets in safe. Note: This last point worked so well I've been married to her for over 14 years now.

  • DON'T:
    Be a lout. Don't open a door and announce that "the breasts of the gods are now arriving!" If she considers you a boorish moron, don't follow her home so you can stare through her curtains. Don't 'accidently' spill water on her white silk blouse to get a free wet t-shirt viewing. Avoid asking her that since you have holes in your pockets, can you hang your car keyring on her nipples.


    If you are attracted by her breasts, there is nothing wrong with it. It is natural. Don't make them the focal point of your relationship, or there won't even be a relationship. Treat her like she's the intelligent, warm human being that she is. Even if she turns out to be a spiteful self-absorbed bitch, keep your wits about you. Excuse yourself from her presence and find someone more compatible. Getting to feel those huge breasts in your hands is not worth your time if you can't stand her. With your luck, she'd get pregnant and you'd be stuck with her. There are other women out there who would make a better relationship partner, so go find them.

    Meet the woman, find a friend and companion. Meet the breasts and go home alone and watch porno in your underwear at your mom's house. The choice is yours.

  • Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.