Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If any other Noders work at SeaWorld, they can confirm this: tourists are jerks. Everyone thinks we're Disney, nobody reads the goddamn map, and everyone shows up late to every show. I'm lucky--I work in a gift shop, so I don't deal with half the morons, but I have to deal with the ones who want to spend money, usually on things we don't even sell."

• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• I don't have a life; Everyone else wants to live my life for me
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
• I don't want to go back to work
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• don't work from ideas toward reality, but from reality toward ideas
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• I don't want to go to work. I want to stay home and play with Stormtroopers.
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• Books Hazelnut Read So You Don't Have To (category)
• everyone on Halloween should show up with a severed hand
• I know there are other fish in the sea but I don't want them
• Work like you don't need the money
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• they tell you to be your true self. to never give up on who you are. they don't know who i am.
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• One of the dangers of necromancy is you don't really know who's on the other side or what they're going to give you in return.
• We read your mail so you don't have to
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• Ernie and Bert are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs.
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• Also, I don't think it's weird that we all love one another so much.
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• Show, don't tell
• Everyone wants to have sex with Batman
• Baptist fear of dancing
• "for the last time: Up here they don't wear Lederhosen!": A christmassy eurotrash nodermeet.
• don't spend it all in one place
• You Think I'm Psycho Don't You Mama
• Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
• Don't be a smartass and offer up a contrived solution that *technically* solves the puzzle but goes against its spirit
• If the US is so great, why don't other countries give themselves to us?
• Being solicited for sex by people who don't even know your gender
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• Jesus loves you so I don't have to
• I'm happy but you don't like me
• don't just wait for it, but you can only wait for it
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• Too bad they don't make one for your heart...
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• Work where you must but live and shop in Tustin
• Living well is only the best revenge if they don't have a fuckable sibling
• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• Ginny and Lola don't work on Thursdays. Sorry, Sugar.
• we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
• We don't have time. Not like they do.
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• Being a dickhead
• I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to.
• Humans have six senses, why does everyone think we only have five?
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• I Love Them But They Don't Love Me
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• The economy has hit everyone hard. Well, everyone who hasn't lost track of how many houses they own, anyhow.
• I don't think the sun was up
• The Devil went home crying and Jesus never even showed up
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• On my honor, I have not violated the honor code in any way on this work.
• I don't think we're old enough to know if we're alcoholics at our age
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• Low self-esteem is actually one of the most self-centered acts; not unlike suicide
• I don't think I would want to date her now, anyway
• I don't want to fall so easily
• Don't force your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me
• I wanted to show you something, but the verb sucked
• or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
• Don't assume that just because I'm promiscuous, all I want is sex
• But I Don't Want To Take Over The World
• Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
• I don't need to read, I'm a writer
• I don't agree with what you say, but I will defend your other, less ludicrous opinion that glitch speed runs are pointless.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• don't think so loudly; whisper something in my ear
• You make yourself lonely even though you don't have to
• They think I'm crazy, but I know it's real
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• I don't want a million women. I just want one.
• they still come to me even though i don't come to them
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• If they're going up to the sun, the stars and the moon, why don't they bring the moon down for us?
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
• They have a trendy name for every different kind of fucked up.
• The reason people go to war is because they don't understand the feelings of others.
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• I don't even badly want what I've been taking. It's just been there.
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• People who don't read
• Everyone still remembers that time you threw up in grade one
• everyone wants to read a happy ending
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
• Don't you ever go to work?
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• I don't want the world, I just want your half
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• Traffic lights that don't stay green long enough for everyone waiting to get through
• If you work in customer service, you will eventually deal with stupid people
• So you don't have to
• Dogs are for wimps who don't have the guts to bite people themselves
• I'm so goddamned cruel to you. But you'll never know
• I don't think she even knows that I make her smile
• Winners don't do drugs, they just sell them
• I don't want to risk endangering the cheap, meaningless sex we have
• They Don't Want Me
• Come back safe; we don't want any dead heroes in this family
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• Stoned music memories
• Here's your heart, usually I don't like dead things as gifts.
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• I know you don't read too good so I'll write slow
• My library books are late, but I don't care
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• One thing you don't want is a thaw
• But I don't want to pay for the obese smoking couch potato
• Something everyone has done but nobody knows what to call it
• Let's hear that string part again, because I don't think they heard it
• Don't work at a golf course
• Women who don't realize they're pregnant until they give birth
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• Work like you don't need the monkey
• Sorry, I don't work here
• You know you're in a terrible mood when the songs don't work
• Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
• i don't want to think about it anymore
• I don't want to wear your skin, but I will if I catch you!
• He thinks I don't, but I do
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• But I don't want to be Princess Leia!
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• I'm sorry, I don't think we've been properly introduced
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• Songs Hazelnut Listened To So You Don't Have To
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• You don't have any real problems
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not

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