Restlessness overtaking me, must find refuge
in your thoughts because mine are irrational
and to destroy me would only hurt other dreamy little humans that most certainly aren't deserving of it. I've never been that selfish
. I need to get out of my head if not just for a minute, I find myself thinking alcohol
would be the only escape right now, even if it was temporary. I need to step from me
into some other person without the same problems or at least a convoluted version
of what I am today, what I was yesterday. Can't seem to decypher exactly what my thoughts are telling me I should do but I'm quite sure that the volatility of a thousand thought patterns racing through my head right now would cause the world to explode
and fall in around me if I weren't controlling it to some extent
. I stood outside in the wind and I loved it because it felt almost stronger than these feelings
inside of me and it whipped the dust on the driveway around, that is before the rain came and soothed it. If I were to stand in the sky water
pouring down right now it might calm me or it would just make me wet? I just need out of this
, whatever this might be
I couldn't figure out where the lyric was from only that it was all I could think
of for a time, though it seems to subside when I put it here
. "I know there must be more to life than this", that was it and I couldn't place.. it came to me just now, that Only God Knows Why
song by that chump, Kid Rock
. I don't even really like his music in general.. something about the song that just sticks in my head.
I lost the key that opens the little slot from which I can escape my thoughts
on occasion, or I wouldn't be having this problem at all.
Are there any Everythingian Lock-smiths?
I'll shut up now.