Findings:

• If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
• God exists and I have him trapped in a box in my basement
• Did God have choice in creating the universe?
• If I had the money I would get lost. God knows I have the time.
• Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today.
• For God's sake, just have another election
• I did not have sexual relations with that woman
• Mountains exist that I have yet to climb
• It was a reasonable chat, I let him have it alone
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• I did not have that on my bingo card
• Half-sour pickle
• i am looking for Morpheus. have you seen him?
• Houston, this is god. We have a problem.
• It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
• I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus.
• And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I would a thousand times rather have had a simple cheap sandwich with a friend
• If this were in person, I would have kissed her now
• Bernie would have won
• What face did you have before your mother and father were born?
• Gods exist but will only talk to those who stay awake after bedtime under the covers.
• How can God allow evil to exist?
• I have this mental image of God laughing at me.
• At Sea The Gods Have No Names
• If there is a God, I want him on Speed Dial.
• This would be easier if we did it backwards
• God probably doesn't exist
• You stole what they would have given you
• Why have you shot him for pounding a corn hat?
• Nodes your Grandma would have liked
• Terminating a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• I would have liked thunder when she left
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• What do you have that you did not receive?
• I should have kissed him, of course.
• What did people use as incidental music before Moby was invented?
• it wouldn't be so bad if people like you would have become ghosts too
• Shall I tell you stories of other stars: stars that you love, that deserve your love. Stars that do not disappoint, and disgust, and disgrace your love. Oh, I have hope they exist for your sake!
• Even God doesn't have the right to utterly destroy children
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• Meditation V: Of the Essence of Material Things, and, again, of God, that he Exists
• The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
• What Would God Do?
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• Thank god it's winter, or it would stink, too.
• That which I should have done I did not do
• Gap analysis of a telephone call
• Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him
• Snakes on a Plane: Clinton did not have conversations with that woman
• I saw him lying there leaving me, and I did not know
• Do unto others as you would have others do unto you
• We Invent Gods That Will Fit in Our Pocket
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• You Should Never Have Asked Him About His Job!
• If we catapulted outlaws, only pawn shops would have guns
• All the terrible disadvantages an invisible man would have in the world
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• I might have expected that the mushrooms would worship you
• If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
• Of course, first you have to kill him
• Have you come here to play Jesus, as I did?
• The annoying kid told me to kick him so I did
• I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
• I did not say it would make sense
• I did not tell him, instead I kept it private like a secret hug
• If you were team captain in a pick-up game of baseball and had Jesus Christ on your team, what position would you play him?
• Would you rather have a matrimony profile?
• Bernie would have won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's
• Did Adam and Eve Have Navels?
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• What kind of crummy friends did Proust have?
• Beyond Belief: Why God Cannot Exist
• i did that on purpose. i didn't have to miss.
• I killed him today, he who does not exist
• Therefore, God exists
• Meditation III: Of God: that he Exists : 2
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• If you existed I would never get out of bed
• If God doesn’t exist, is everything permitted?
• Meditation III: Of God: that he Exists
• you never thought this would happen to you, but it did
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• God, do you think I can have a nephew this time?
• If the Bible wasn't full of things you disagree with, would you start believing in God?
• Did the Japanese go and sit down and have dinner with Pearl Harbor before they bombed 'em?
• Why would a god let so many of his "flock" stray?
• I'm white, upper-middle-class in the richest country in the world-what need have I for God?
• Thank god I don't have to make my living passing out bogus petitions
• Damn, damn, damn: what did you have to go and do that for
• And What Have You Done With My Body God?
• If You See God First Tell Him Shit Got Worse
• "Have you noticed that we are surrounded by Germans? Oh my god, you're right!" The quadrennial Cologne Nodermeet, Part II
• As a matter of fact I did invent the Internet
• You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you
• I have no faith in your God
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• I would have cooled this if you had written it
• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
• I have the power of God and anime on my side!
• Did Jesus Have A Pimply Nose?
• you would have been
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• Advantages an invisible man would have in the world
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• If you didn't have free will, would you know it?
• it's God's work to have us fail
• Things that would have seemed unbelievable about 11 years ago
• Hello, my name is... Would you like to have sex?
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• Would ye have a young Virgin of fifteen Years
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• If Gore Had Won (A cautionary tale)
• I would like to have emotions
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• Why the ancient Babylonians would have loved high definition television
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• a dream you did not have
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• I would have leapt at the innuendo you had strewn at my feet.
• What pornos would have us believe
• Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• We told you when you were hired that you would have to work on Saturday
• if I was doing it for compliments I would have stopped a lot sooner
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• he would have cried
• I didn't love him until I feared I would lose him. One does not love breathing.
• he would have laughed
• I would have attempted to draw her if she had stayed that way.
• Did you think I would give up that easily?
• I still know what you did last summer
• Did my pussy just run into you?
• Video didn't kill the radio star, I did
• No matter what I did to fix it, the damn thing never got everything right
• I never did well with Sunday nights
• The Butler Did it, Again
• What did you do for your mother today?
• old chestnut: where did the other square go?
• Let's not, and say we did
• Using headphones as a microphone
• if people treat you badly, did you bring it on yourself?
• What did Jesus look like?
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• Did Nixon beat his wife?
• It did not but, I think.. it will spill hope
• More hips!
• How did we come to this?
• Why, again, did I suffer through four years of high school?
• The dumbest thing I ever did while under the influence of alcohol
• Did Aum Shinrikyo set off a nuclear bomb in Western Australia in 1993?
• You mean the me that you would be
• what I did on my holidays
• Climb up on the Moon? Of course we did.
• How did I get here, Sarah?
• Why did the indie rawk kid cross the road?
• What the hell did I do with my keys this time?
• Puking Onstage Before a Live Audience, or: The Pooka Did It
• When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?
• the garden did not start out as metaphor, it started out as paradise
• Did You Fuck Her?
• what the kids did for love:
• Did Israel attack the Pentagon and World Trade Center?
• You are precious to me. Did you know that?
• Keeping beer cold in the Old West
• Did Ronald Reagan end the Cold War?
• When did everyone get so attractive?
• It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
• Britain Entering World War I
• Did You Save One Of Me?
• Which way did the bicycle go?
• The boy who did not understand the language of the birds
• Where did Archie find the time?
• Why I did what I did
• They did not forgive us, she thought. We will surely die.
• He did very little harm

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