Last night C said he didn't understand our fascination with Sarah Jessica Parker, after all she wasn't even beautiful. She had horrible legs, her calves extend to her ankles. This made me think of our drunk love-affair with perfection, and the need to remark on, even deride every blemish. Why not simply appreciate the beauty that exists alongside the blemishes? Mississippi John Hurt isn't much to look at, but can he sing.
I'm striving to become a much better person, one who doesn't mock others faults and fallings. I wonder, will that make me boring and sanctimonious? Where is the line between gentle ribbing and a hurtful comment. Since Sarah Jessica Parker couldn't hear Chris, was he really being hurtful? Am I being vaguely creepy by being hurt at a comment made about a celebrity? God, please don't turn me into a Number One Fan, reserve that fate for the couch potatoes.
We judge each other a little too much. I look at the
love-handles on the girls working out incessantly on the Elliptical Trainer at the gym. They're irrelevant in the larger scheme of things because the woman
around them is beautiful in her own right. She's not unfit, she just hasn't been able to remove that last bit of flab above the hip. There's no shame in that, I suffer the same fate. I like to think they all believe their bodies are a temple, and a vehicle for their minds.
I hope K isn't as uncharitable as C and returns my calls. She can't judge me by a single malapropos comment. I said investment banking analysts were simply Powerpoint Bitches, which is not strictly correct, sometimes they are Powerpoint Whores and nurture dreams to become Powerpoint Pimps. There, I still can't resist the Temptation to say something clever, even if it is spiteful. Still, it's only conversation, less than that, idle reparte. At a much deeper level I appreciate the good in everything much more than the fleeting rush of adrenalin as I say something both tart and mildly dismissive.
Perhaps she fears I'll be as discriminating with her as I was with innocent college graduates (in the abstract) working for heartless dealmakers. I wait for the chance to kiss her every blemish.