, the time machine
In 2108, Senator John Diago gave his famous anti-time-travel speech which quickly led to the Causality Protection Act
All time machines were being destroyed and the technology of time travel would be forever banned. But, they missed a loophole in the law.
I would use my machine to travel to before Diago's speech and kill
Diago before he could arouse anti-time-travel sentiment and get the CPA passed.
It would be a simple kill: just take an electric pistol
, teleport in, point, shoot, teleport out again.
My first attempt: I missed. Maybe I should get closer.
My second attempt: The electric pistol shorted and was now useless. I'd have to buy another one.
My third attempt: A magnetic field
was in effect, designed to protect people from electric pistols. It was clear I wouldn't be able to use an electric pistol here and would have to buy a pistol that used bullet
s. But they don't sell those anymore.
Of course, the answer was obvious. Go back in time
to 2006 or so when bulletguns were still in use, and buy a gun. But that brings up another problem: 2006 currency
looks nothing like 2106 currency.
But the answer to that was simple too: because silver was still rare in 2006, but was incredibly common in 2106 due to ocean mining
, I can buy a bar of silver at the local metal store, then sell it to some bank for a large amount of money.
There was a slight snag in the plan due to 2006 laws
but that was easily solved with a bribe to the gun shop owner and the assurance that he would never see me again.
My fourth attempt: Missed again due to recoil from the gun. Forgot that old bulletguns aren't as accurate as electric pistols. I hate Newton's Third Law.
My fifth attempt: I got very close to Diago this time. The bullet literally only had a few inches to sail. There was no way that it could possibly miss.
Of course, it didn't work that way. Through a freak accident of quantum physics
almost every proton and neutron in the bullet decayed, and the bullet disappeared in a flash of light.
The day after my fifth attempt, Senator Diago gave a speech to Congress. Its first words: "I have survived five assassination attempts. The way in which I survived the fifth attack indicates that the only way this could be possible would be if a time traveler tried to kill me..."
After realizing what I had done to the amazing technology of time travel and its promise of infinite progress, I quickly typed up this note
, and took the bulletgun's nozzle to my head. Three...two...one...