Findings:

• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• That's Just How He Was
• How He Didn't Understand Her Whichever
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• If I didn't ask, I'd never know (how much you hate me)
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• How was Trump at Munich?
• Just how perfect was Jesus?
• I married him because he was not mean
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• At least he was gentle
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• How the Earth was destroyed
• when you reflect that john now knows how he's going to die.
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• I didn't want to know where I was conceived
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• A half-man, half-monstertruck ex-CIA vampire must save the world the only way he knows how: with ROCK
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
• How the West Was Won
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• He didn't want to be Gary anymore
• I didn't say he ate your dog
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
• He Was a Crook
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• All he left her was alone
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• Let's shoot Cupid, see how he likes it
• I wanted to see how many times he wouldn't ask.
• I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• making certain he was touching her
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
• How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
• he was a punk poet himself
• How America was mapped
• How the West Was Lost
• I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
• How will you know you didn't get it all wrong?
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• How many special people change?
• man when you are telling me how it was
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• He was found
• More than he was willing to give
• as if he didn't exist
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• She didn't know what outside was anymore.
• What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
• How Eulenspiegel announced he wanted to fly
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• The Old Man's Comforts and How He Gained Them
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• As if he knew that words were how I kissed
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
• The Lover Showeth How He Is Forsaken of Such as He Sometime Enjoyed
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• He taught me how to smoke
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• The Good Gardener (On How He Fell)
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• I didn't know how to keep it but I couldn't throw it away.
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• When someone was willing to drown with me, I really didn't want to drown anymore
• of what Anatoly Dyatlov knew, and what he didn't know
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• I will fucking REMOVE your writeups about Cloud Strife and how he's cool and mysterious and shit
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• He Was Only Joking
• some say he was never here at all
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• How was your trip to London, Dan?
• This wasn't how it was supposed to be
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• How was the Bible canonized?
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• Running a BBS
• How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
• Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
• How was the play, Missus Lincoln?
• And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
• Charles Bridgeman
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• How Eulenspiegel, along with the other boys, was made to eat too much bread
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
• Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
• relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
• middle of summer how crazy it was
• you never once told her how beautiful she was nor how much you truly loved her
• This is the story of how I was killed in Peru
• How Kissing Was Discovered
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• i thought i was special, but it was you
• Michael was special
• Foam on the tide is no more or less real than the sea, it simply is, was, will be
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• No matter how wise an old sheep, he can't teach a fish how to polevault
• The word that means "I acknowledge this thing you have just said"
• Video didn't kill the radio star, I did
• didn't
• If you didn't have free will, would you know it?
• I didn't make the cut for synchronized swimming
• I didn't know what to say
• I didn't want him
• We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us.
• Live Era '87-'93
• And They Didn't Die
• She didn't believe in transcendence
• The things I spend my money on didn't exist when my parents were younger
• she didn't believe in kissing outside of art
• You didn't even keep one bag?
• If she didn't love you she would kill you
• Why didn't Jesus remind you
• Redundancy in DNA
• It didn't work, Granberg!
• The pictures that I didn't take
• I didn't always have this cool job
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• I didn't say you stole my watch
• Warning signs that you may not have chosen the right title (collaboration)
• We Didn't Start the Fire
• The cat that didn't want to be rescued
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• Plus, the poem didn't rhyme and it fit on one page.
• What Darwin Didn't Know
• Don't care didn't care
• I didn't smoke THAT much
• the lady from Iowa didn't either
• The coolest I've ever felt, given that I didn't end up with a gun.
• It’s herself she didn’t love
• Didn't Poe teach you never to talk to strangers
• I knocked on the massive door, and came one step closer to knowing what I didn't know before.
• I'm scared to death of what havoc he could wreak in my life
• Even my faults he adores
• Chris and What He Untaught Me
• I Am He that Aches with Love

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