Earlier, we talked about dreams, and daydreaming. Me who chases my thoughts all over the place, wherever and whomever they lead to, constructing elaborate scary or silent stories
in my head. Her
rarely wandering at all, only memories of sleeping silently.
Later, in our beds on either side of the room, I am sinking into that place where the nausea starts to recede, the nausea that comes from extreme, extreme fatigue. Silent slow sinking, and she starts to talk to me, 'You know, I was thinking, one day we' and I interrupt 'Please don't' , I say, 'Because I am so very tired that your voice is making waves and the tiredness is making me feel sick. Do you mind, Dina. I'm sorry, I must sink now'.
So she stops. Later, much later, probably one whole minute has passed, I turn over, hugging my second pillow because I do not have a person to hold on to. Already dreaming of soldiers, blue uniforms and gold buttons, I think to say goodnight before I drown in this sensation entirely.
'Goodnight, Heather' I tell her. 'What',
she says 'That's not my name'. That shakes me into
more coherent thought and I start laughing weakly, as
best as I can manage in my state. It isn't her name at all,
and I turn over, fall back into good sleep, sinking slow and sure.