, who came up with this shit? I can see the cave men
now, smearing mud on each other. To me it's the same thing.
Nothing to me, is more sexy
and exciting than to lean forward to kiss a woman
and _____________________ .
- ...inhale 3 pints of perfume
- ...get slapped because I am going to fuck up her lipstick...you know, the shit she is wearing to make herself look good for boys, or sometimes even to look good specifically for me
- ...come out of it wearing more lipstick than her
- ...come out of it lacking the ability to feel my face due to all of the base, primer, powder, dust, cream and SHIT smeared on my face
- ...end up looking like Carmen Miranda
If you would really like to know what makes you look like shit, its wearing make up, it ruins your complexion and your skin. Wash your face, give it a healthy glow
. Nothing to me is sexier
than smelling some girlish soap
. To me that is more personal than any perfume
. I know that when I smell it, I am close to the person. Women who can drop a Llama at 40 paces
just don't do it for me.
I sometimes wonder if there is a woman somewhere out there who has a 2-hour commute to work and spends 2-hours in the bathroom a day. Combine that with 8 hours of work and a 2-hour commute home and that is 14 hours. Scary scary scary.
I mean 2 hours, the mind boggles
at what the fuck a person can do in the bathroom for two hours. She better be hiding a vibrator
in there somewhere because otherwise It doesn't seem possible that it could take that long to accomplish smearing tinted mud
on your face and spraying forty-six gallons of hair spray
in your hair. I wake up, shower
, get dressed, grab a mocha
and get to work in half an hour.
I have had girlfriends
who I have asked them to get dressed
so we can go to Burger King
for a bite to eat
and they take an hour doing their hair...to go to Burger King
for Christ sake
At any rate, I like women who look good without the oils and sprays and roll-ons
and other various horrors which can only be applied with something resembling a pallet knife
. If you have to perform make-up miracles
verging on self performed reconstructive surgery