Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had"

• I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had.
• The best tuna fish sandwich I've ever had
• Best smoke I've ever had
• The most interesting job I've ever had
• The Worst Paper I've Ever Written
• The best teacher I ever had
• I've had better hugs from wind gusts and dead people
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• I was the worst lay you ever had
• The saddest funeral I've ever performed
• I've been smoking ever since
• Jobs I've Had
• The most difficult decision President Bush has ever had to make
• You know what? I've had it up to here with "Trix are for kids!" Give the rabbit a fucking bowl of cereal, you dick!
• Neatest trip I've had
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• The Only Song I've Ever Written
• I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions
• Your shoulder is the most comfortable thing I've ever slept on
• Ever since I met you I've been looping a recursive subroutine
• The coolest I've ever felt, given that I didn't end up with a gun.
• This is the oldest I've ever been
• The most fun I've had doing anything
• Smartest thing I've ever read on Reddit
• I've had kisses that make Judas seem sincere
• I've had you here before
• The tired scrawl of every word I've ever called my own.
• I've had a drunken kebab and loved it!
• She was feminine in the most displaced sense I had ever seen, a known quality refracted through stained glass windows.
• I've had eighteen straight whiskeys. I think that's the record.
• I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
• The boldest lie I've ever heard
• The bravest man I've ever known
• I just had a pap smear, for crying out loud. Don't invite me out for coffee.
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• I've put in a request for a hooker with a freakishly high IQ but...
• Never Had It So Good
• You have had sex with all the people your partner has had sex with
• The Best Feeling Ever
• i didn't write this, but i wish i had
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• Don't work at a golf course
• You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here.
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
• Longing for brief, but ever unattainable moment of... lucid thought?
• Sorry to eat and run, but I've got to go stop Lincoln from killing Hitler in his crib
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• I don't have a postmodern condition; I've always been like this
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• Worst episode ever
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• Don't you hate these clever people and these clever-people parties?
• The worst thing I ever put in my mouth
• This is the worst thing ever, worse than the planet exploding and demons eating babies
• Parking warning
• This is the worst vacation ever! I am going to cut open your forehead with a roofing shingle!
• i mean honestly what did the dodo ever do for us
• But I've said it before and I'll say it again: kneecaps only exist to get hit with claw-hammers; grace only exists to be fallen from.
• We had silent conversations
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• I've earned my hate, earned it!
• i keep thinking that this rain could last forever and i don't think it could ever stop
• we are learning how not to forget, but we still don't know what's true
• Best Week Ever
• The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
• I'm not really okay with being hated for what I am. It's hard to take. But it's still better than being loved for something I'm not.
• Don't ever lend out your pants
• My old clothes hang on a chair like ghosts of people I've been
• Don't ever empty half a bottle of washing up liquid into the cistern of a toilet
• You're the best thing that ever happened to me, no matter what
• I had names for all of those places, but I can't remember them
• I've given up believing in anything but coffee and fishnet stockings
• The best line I ever used
• Don't ever forget that I listened to you out of love
• The worst children's book ever
• the best damned story ever written
• The best I never had
• It was one of the worst things I have ever done
• The best comeback ever
• The best formation pilot I ever saw
• Sad but true. Won't ever change. The end.
• But lately, I've been too tired to care
• Top 10 Things I've Learned From Conversations with God
• I've seen things you people wouldn't believe
• The worst job interview ever
• The worst ending ever
• I've never seen a glacier up close, but I've touched your hand. It felt so cold.
• These are the only minutes you'll ever have. Take good care of them.
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• I've been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
• A conversation I had with myself once
• They don't know what I've done
• The best magic trick you've ever seen
• The Ten Best Metal Lyrics Ever
• We had no bait but our tongues
• I had seen the whole thing coming like a ghost train. Here I am on the tracks, still bleeding, taking phone numbers, haunted.
• Ever seen two people talking to each other in their sleep?
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• A rant about the worst professor I have ever worked with
• Best Math Books Ever Written
• The best thing ever
• The Funniest One-Sided Conversation I'll Ever Hear
• Don't you ever go to work?
• I Had No Time to Hate, Because
• If I had called you, would you still be dead?
• I am a bassist. Don't you fucking call me a bass player, ever.
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• I had a really good time tonight
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• The worst name ever
• Slashdot Troll's Greatest Hits
• I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• Don't lie. Ever.
• Best Death Ever
• the worst haircut ever
• Your Perl-Fu is Good, but My Perl-Fu is Best (e2poll)
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• But where the bones had landed, things began to grow
• Love cookies
• every statue in town came to life, but they'd been watching long enough to know better than to ever move
• You've never had it so good
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• don't ever throw stones at your mother
• The worst fanfic ever
• The best thing my grandmother ever taught me
• the best Christmas present ever
• I love you, but you've just got to leave and not come back. Ever.
• I've got nifty things to do in September but it's not September yet.
• Worst Node Ever
• Mary Had a Little Lamb
• What the Institute for Motivational Development had to say about me
• I had to bury the cat somewhere....
• Miss Polly had a dolly
• What if we had duels instead of wars?
• The Monkey that had a Mobile Phone
• Death had the ultimate poker face
• What if Heraclides had never been born?
• I would have attempted to draw her if she had stayed that way.
• Guns don't kill people, paintballs kill people
• i've lost the ability to be truly bored
• The Wild Colonials
• I've Got Your McFlurry Right Here: Help Welcome donfreenut to Swinging London
• I've read books so I know things that sound like they could be true
• Don't hate the player, hate the game
• Don't You Hate
• People who don't read
• Live the greatest story ever told
• How to know if you will ever experience time travel
• She ain't heavy, she's a mother
• You, born of the water, could you ever live far from the sea?
• Ever After
• World War 1: The Most Pointless War Ever
• The Most Horrifying True Story Zeph Ever Heard
• My library books are late, but I don't care
• Nah, these random encounters with beautiful strangers won't destroy me at all. But I guess I thought it'd be a good way to die at the time.
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• What I Didn't Learn in Church Last Sunday (and wish I had)
• if you had it as an option, would you take it?
• A preview of a movie you had already seen
• Originally I had a strategy: Smile at pretty girls
• I wanted to eat; I had fir-trees
• I had every intention of moving forward.

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