Consider this a metanode.

Also, consider it as a node that started out as a sort of typo, one that was created in the process of trying to link some of the memes that appeared and/or occurred to me while noding an entry on the Pat Califia story collection, Macho Sluts. It was also the honest mistake of someone just starting to get the hang of how everything works. Unless someone needs to see it as part of a vast conspiracy, in which case it may serve that purpose as well.

Clearly, from the initial negative reaction, I put this up a bit too quickly, and as a neophyte I apologize profusely for my mistakes. From the initial reaction, some readers appear to have gotten the idea that it was intended as a put down of GLBT folk or as some sort of "getting to know you" node, or possibly I am just overinterpreting.

In my heart, I don't think this node is inspired by either an anti-gay or an anti-straight motive on my part. I do openly identify with GLBT folk, but I'm also not really ready to get to know many of you that well. I'm much more fascinated by this social notion (of sexuality that is both public and private) and the way the meme seems to serve some sort of function (or has served one in the past) within a variety of societies. That's what I intend to metanode here, as time and attention allows.

A little background, and then I'll let you decide. Maybe linking back to Macho Sluts might help too, though I can well understand all sorts of responses to that node as well.

Speaking as though intentionality has any meaning, I was fascinated when I came across everything at the way all the memes, especially some of the social memes, appear to interplay here. Discomfort with sex, obsession with sex, semi-confessional, partly personal nodes ... why is that, what does it mean, and how does it function? Is it different for the presumed majority? These are questions, not judgements. I am, after all, a member of that 1 to 3% of the population who register as an INFP on the Myers-Briggs scale. I don't do judgement well, and am prone to procrastinate because judgement and choices come hard. But that's getting subjective.

What I'm interested in here is the meme or set of memes that surround this idea of "I could keep my sexuality private," much as Califia is fascinated by the same thing, expressed in the link and in much of Califia's other work.

After all, one aspect of this seem to be a double standard. So-called "straight" people don't exactly keep their sexuality private, at least in the sense that we see evidence everywhere of their sexuality, used to sell things, or simply (and innocuously) in the existence of and pride that people of all persuasions take in their children.

By contrast — or is it by design? — there is the realm of taboo, aspects of sexuality that are somehow tagged, sometimes durably and sometimes not, as private, as shameful and otherwise "inappropriate" for the public sphere. This is something that has long puzzled me, maybe just because I'm hopelessly curious about people and why they say and do the things they do.

I hope, in this node, to cross-link many nodes that seem to touch on this theme, without necessarily addressing it directly. I look forward to the evolution that may occur if others take some interest in this meme and choose to add thoughts (and links) as well.

Soft links that I am hardlinking as pertinent to this subject and this meme (as well as it's been defined, so far):

Don't force your anti-gay philosophy on me
"getting to know you" nodes fucking suck
Soft Linking to Offend
Macho Sluts

Original text (to give you an idea of what first readers may have reacted to:)

Would you, should you, can you do this? Why would you (or wouldn't you) keep it private? And if you keep it private, and that's a good thing, then maybe sex with other humans (assuming that's your sexual orientation... apologies to all who may belong to other species, and those who experience trans-species attractions) is not really a good idea? Pros, cons and ramifications of keeping one's sexuality private are welcome with hardlinks, softlinks and everything else.

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